Need I say
the pain
Need i pray
for god to save
Should i sleep
so insecure
Could i keep
My pain so sore
Memories forbidding
trying to not let go
Hiding my personal substance
of this peace at home
crying to the abused
knowing they hardly understand
acceptance refused
breathing so hard again...
Soiled and hurt
no longer protected
dirty and perverse
knowing now im infected
surely how can i be ridden
with this sexual burden
forced and yet forbidden
you took way too far
and there in the shadows
i look up and she was there
you raped,sufficated by pillows
you said mummy didnt care
but i couldn't see if she did
No, i just wanted to die
knowing my abuse vivid
knowing no use to cry
and i try to this day
to get the hate out of my system
my childhood thrown away
confidence with restriction
but something inside me feels
knowing that im forever your son
my scars deep, questions conceals
wasn't anything you could do mom?
mom i was screaming
mom i was bleeding
mom i'm so sorry
that i am no longer sorry
not clean forever dirty
i just dont want him to hurt me
by god, im disgusting
fuck god, he's a bastard...
I didnt have to feel it
It wasnt even my fault
though it still feels so real
and memories are all i got
Suicide was on my mind
wishing it would all go away
knowing theres something to find
but attempt by attempt each day
Im left with no one to hold me
it hurts but i've grown up now
and people have constantly told me
that daddy you are evil, foul
im not lying now i've grown
that even when mummy seemed not to care
and that its seems i am alone
but there will always be someone there
but now im wasting my dreams
now im feeling it all happen again
I feel it I can hear all my screams
IT's NOT HAPPENING! No, no, not again...
mom i was screaming
mom i was bleeding
mom i'm so sorry
that i am no longer sorry
not clean forever dirty
i just dont want him to hurt me
by god, im disgusting
fuck god, he's a bastard...
I'm not protected
I'm so insecure
I'm not protected
Left bleeding...and sore...
faith..im not even kidding..that was one of the best poems i have ever read. it hit home..completely. the emotions..everything..were perfectly worded and it had a really good flow to it. wow..is in awe. youre amazing faith!! *hugs tight!*