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Need I say

the pain

Need i pray

for god to save

Should i sleep

so insecure

Could i keep

My pain so sore

Memories forbidding

trying to not let go

Hiding my personal substance

of this peace at home

crying to the abused

knowing they hardly understand

acceptance refused

breathing so hard again...



Soiled and hurt

no longer protected

dirty and perverse

knowing now im infected

surely how can i be ridden

with this sexual burden

forced and yet forbidden

you took way too far

and there in the shadows

i look up and she was there

you raped,sufficated by pillows

you said mummy didnt care

but i couldn't see if she did

No, i just wanted to die

knowing my abuse vivid

knowing no use to cry

and i try to this day

to get the hate out of my system

my childhood thrown away

confidence with restriction

but something inside me feels

knowing that im forever your son

my scars deep, questions conceals

wasn't anything you could do mom?



mom i was screaming

mom i was bleeding

mom i'm so sorry

that i am no longer sorry

not clean forever dirty

i just dont want him to hurt me

by god, im disgusting

fuck god, he's a bastard...



I didnt have to feel it

It wasnt even my fault

though it still feels so real

and memories are all i got

Suicide was on my mind

wishing it would all go away

knowing theres something to find

but attempt by attempt each day

Im left with no one to hold me

it hurts but i've grown up now

and people have constantly told me

that daddy you are evil, foul

im not lying now i've grown

that even when mummy seemed not to care

and that its seems i am alone

but there will always be someone there

but now im wasting my dreams

now im feeling it all happen again

I feel it I can hear all my screams

IT's NOT HAPPENING! No, no, not again...



mom i was screaming

mom i was bleeding

mom i'm so sorry

that i am no longer sorry

not clean forever dirty

i just dont want him to hurt me

by god, im disgusting

fuck god, he's a bastard...



I'm not protected

I'm so insecure

I'm not protected

Left bleeding...and sore...