Not My Will

Lord I know it was wrong

To entertain such thoughts.

Forgive me.

For a season it kept company

my loneliness

And affirmed me

in the face of rejection

but it left me empty



I know this is precise

yet it seems like such a price

I know you can do the impossible

Nothing is too difficult

So I ask for the unfeasible

If you can do that,

I know you can do this

My heart hurts a bit

But I lay down my fit

Wanting to have my way

I give way to your will

I want to please you still

Give me the strength to kill

My flesh that demands its thrills



I can feel my carnal dying

I hear my soul crying

My heart is sighing

Between beats of reality

Jolting me,

Almost mockingly



I know this is right

I must not fight your will.

Please remove my hurt

And with abundance

and overflow fill

Me anew with your spirit.

not my will, but

your will be done.




Author's Notes/Comments: 

It is not always easy to acept Gods will, nor is it easy to lay down something you like ALOT! or even love to please God. That is a serious warfare. your flesh (emotions,intellect,body)will kick,scream and throw a 2 year old fit. there is a sense of withdrawal that we feel like an addict on drugs, because we are so used   to pleaseing our flesh that it sends us into shock to deny ourselves; but I tell you what, it is worth it, for the peace of God is priceless. After I have thrown my tantrum He comes and comforts me by His Holy spirit. And nothing in the world is sweeter than HIS PRESENCE.

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raila's picture

This is my daily struggle. I will say that it is getting easier. I think this is a very inspiring piece.


RaiLa