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Discomfort.
It's all around me....
Physicallly,
Emotionally,...
I feel as if I've been stripped of my blinders!
Some, protective layer that use to keep me safe
and warm.
What is it,
That I've lost?

I wonder,...
is this what a butterfly feels
as he emerges from a Caterpillars tomb?
Total wonder?...
into a new form of life with a new perspective?
How does he ready himself for his first flight?
How, do I?
Is he strong enough?
Am I?
Are my new wings strong enough to go the distance
of my flight or will they weakend and let me crash to the ground?!?
How can I test them for strength...
Who, can train me?

"DEAR GOD HELP ME TO KNOW MY INSTRUCTOR!"

What is this crazy ride I'm on?
Why does my medical doctor tell me to
"Hang on, Valerie!"

TO WHAT?!
TO WHO?!

What is it that he knows about this frightening
new journey I'm on, yet leaves me to lay in my own
darkened ignorance to find my own way out of?

"MY SOUL IS BEING RIPPED APART!!!
TORN TO BITS UPON MY OWN FIELD BY FORCES I CANNOT SEE,
BUT ONLY FEEL!"

"DOES ANYBODY, CARE????"...

sadness,....
moves slowly through the anatomy of my soul.
Quietly...
painfully,
taking with it pieces of my last shred of sanity...

Pain and sadness;
Together forming the proper soil to yield a life of
chronic depression.
As Deadly as the Morning Glory to Arizona crops
it will surely strangle my roots.

"LET ME OUT MR. WIZARD!"
...for I don'twant to die, like this.