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Death
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Suicude/Death I live inside the shadows,
No one knows that I am here.
Some may say I’m psychotic,
But none can see my fears.
My mind is numb,
Of conscious thought.
Only memories,
Of the lessons I‘ve been taught.
I look around,
In my dismay.
This is where,
I’ve come to play.
I feel the steel of the blade,
Running through my chest.
This is now the place,
That I have come to rest.
I know my life is draining,
I see the blood run clear.
I scream into the night,
But no one seems to hear.
really nice that one, the lines flow and rhyme ect. and that final line But Noone Seems To Hear just finishing the poem as if its being cut off, as if the blade you talk about is literally cutting the page off to show me it's finished. Really nice, honestly though the whole suicidal blade death of night thing has been done to death (no punn intended) a twist or surprise wouldve been nice. But hey, thats what I think. Just trying to give constructive feedback rather then that blabla typical butt-kissing kinda crap. Over all its a good poem! Keep up the kick-ass work!