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Lesson in Overcoming
This is is a lesson in overcoming.
its not so simple but devoted to telling
its a long story with many emotions
with a simple end result its not a destination
witch many have confused that feeling with
its a state of mind.
leaving a place you could not stand behind
this is the a brief cycle of emotions
Its starts with a hole you dug
with nothing left in your life to really bring you joy.
no light in the darkness you brightness in the day.
faded blacked out shelved and forgotten by the places you loved.
A little book of names of fallen friends you keep as a solid reminder
life is not sacred and it goes by fast
not fast enough.
refusing to sleep for you dream of things you are
refusing to eat because you want to starve the creature inside you
the writing is on walls but you blocked all light so you cannot read them
Its sickness physical fatigue
perpetual overwhelming sadness
the smell of your stench for you haven't moved in days.
no motivation. just the constant reminder you are wasting rotting away precious time to become
broken and absent minded removing you thoughts are all you have in mind.
your head is the screams in the night. only thing you crave is full social,emotional physical numbness.
block it out. everything you need and love
you are without starving underweight under payed and under dressed for the occasions you wish you were to become
you see anguish you hear your cries. you smell your blood and ravage through the night
tossing and turning. its worse than dying for you are too lazy to take your life but you cannot stand te breath.
months in isolation nothing but infomercials and bad soap operas to keep you sane
its failing for your health is declining. crying for help reaching out. praying to anything you may have power over you.
The first step is the hardest and most abnormal its to dig deeper you are not there.
dig until you lost everything. where you lay on the floor for days with no place to go no place to be.
other than the occupied space in your pitch black basement days from dying
you get up. you go get drunk and lay back down until you are unconscious.
quench your thirst eat your words you mumble to the wall.
hide from it all you live in your head
day dream your life away as the walls become obsolete
you are now forever lost almost too far over the edge
its getting hard to breath. asphyxiation you choke yourself until you must breath.
it is not that easy to die as you try time and time again with no strength to do so.
stuck and broken. memories make you shatter as you realize you are almost see through pale.
You one day snap and run up and break through the door open and find nothing you wish you were looking for
but this time you remain on the top floor and you occasionally eat and ask for more
its simple yet you broke free from the darkness reaching and grabbing you no longer are rabid as you find water soothing
soon speech and conversation soon follow forgetting were once in a hole you leave the house and find a world
not the one you wanted but its enough o call home. you start working get addicted to pain revilers and and psychodelics
for you are not where you need to be you now try to make this place fit and it never will be as you find its just a place you shouldn't be
now you see new people faces and faces you hate and wish you couldn't see
but it forms this attitude that no one is a good as what you used to see.
you cannot break it for you are alone unless you go to work to support a new addictive habbit to help you cope with pain
its more stress and less pain as you awake from this hole you get promoted and make get heartbroken but it only keeps you outside
refusing to hide you get into trouble as you attach yourself with the wrong crowd
you find friends and terrible friends and you use whats in front of you to forget they are near
you make and break molds as you find yourself once again in a slump of a hole
a heroin hole a hole that's considered the darkest and deadliest of all and you seen
youve seen bad destined to go mad it seems this is fight or flight for you.
you bag up your life say goodbye to this knife that cut you deep you called a town no one ever heard of
you move back few will ever react but you are back to the basis of self love
you make and break ambitions and you learn to now listen to things you once hated to hear.
you keep yourself alert and steer clear form a path witch always in your rear view mirror
witch you refuse to go back too. To motivate yourself and inspire others
for you got a crush interested in your well bieng
you two get acquainted and then go for a shot to make it as a relationship witch is so damn worth it
to the struggle you endure the past year compared to the friends and things you keep close to you now
its small steps at first you wont notice until it hurts to see the people you left in a place you refuse to go back too
these people now hate you and it weighs on your shoulders but the moral of this story is
"you had to do what you had to do"
