The dream starts out me outside my body at my funeral. Watching everyone I was close to sit and look and a casket containing my lifeless body. Its not the most appealing sight, seeing everyone that cared deeply around your no longer living body doing there best to keep their composure with the overwhelming feeling that you are now forever gone. I am standing taking the form of a ghost behind my casket overlooking the maybe twenty four people standing giving their last goodbyes. Its obviously in the evening, its probably around seven pm. The people who were distant friends and family have already paid their respects and left.
the funeral is in an abnormal location. It is not located in a graveyard witch would be standard for most died human beings. I am actually buried behind a tiny unattractive apple tree witch blossoms are wilted into black and brown dead specks barley holding a grip onto the branches witch they reside. The tree is small its trunk is blatantly showing lack of water. The tree twisting and growing crooked to one side It is either almost dead or completely dead. Its hard to tell. Its ugly and it adds quite well to the atmosphere of the events taken place in front of it. For all I know the depressing silent heartache emotion given off by the crowd of people I once knew could have killed the tree. It is a logical explanation for everyone is dressed in black carrying white roses and setting them atop my casket as they stare blankly at it hoping I will just get up and greet everyone. so they can go home and not think about my memories and my early fate witch everyone would believe has come way to early. Even me. and I am the one trapped on the other side.
A few feet on the other side of a tree is a descent sized cliff. I would judge it to be about a twenty feet drop. witch looks over a dirt road running parallel with the cliff and beyond the road is just brush leading into trees.
I look deeply at everyone's expressions, trying to decipher what they maybe be thinking. I wish I had the power to read minds for I would have learned a lot about myself in this situation. Knowing what people would say in their head at your own funeral is something that is almost appealing but in the end overall terrifying for what they are thinking will be their thoughts on how to chose to live the short amount of time you were currently breathing.
I entered this nightmare in-between eulogies. People are taking they're time preparing themselves for what they are about to say. I will never be prepared for what I am about to hear. I am not sure if these are the true speeches that were given during my funeral or if this is just a simple bad dream.
A coworker I worked with at the local supermarket witch I never really knew his name or cared to do so. readies himself to walk up to where my body is resting. He is in his late twenties. A moderately built person with short black hair wearing an all black tux. He is trembling as he stands in front of the small crowd that seems to be dwindling as time passes. His words are haunting to say the least.
"Avery Flatts...." He pauses and takes a deep breathe trying to swallow the emotion and tears that he is fighting to hold back.
"I never really spoke to him directly, a few times we made small talk while we were on the clock. I did observe a lot of things about him. how he acted before Megan came in to visit him and how he carried himself when she left. It was as if he was a different person. calm, and easy going. The keep to myself and work alone attitude left when she did. He smile more. He laughed with customers. He was an entire different person. To be completely honest. I thought the two where dating and for a descent amount of time in the way they acted and communicated...."
He pauses and chooses his words carefully.
"I am going to never understand this situation. On what happened between them. I am going to be stuck wondering, why... Why would something like this have happened. It doesn't add up. Like I said I did n't know him that well. ...I just wish I knew the answer to why he would commit murder. Then finish the job by taking his own life.....Could he not have thought this through a bit more? could he have decided to try and cope with emotion before revoking someone else's right to live along with his own. He was only kid. What would draw him to do such a thing. It is almost not human. Its horrific especially with how gruesome of a scene he left. What ever place he is in now I hope he should still have to suffer from his unjust actions for as long as time exists The family he destroyed lost their oldest a few years back and he decided to rip their daughter from this world in a gruesome self obsessed reckless act witch led to disaster. There is a special place in hell for this person. From what I have heard this isn't the first death he has been associated with. Its unfortunate. and If I were the judge of where he ended up for the rest of his existence I would have him watch the agonizing pain from when they found their only daughter in a pool of blood. as he is constantly forever day after day suffer the same physical pain he her in the last moments before he ripped her away from this world"
I feel as if my I choked on my own breathe escaping my body. I deeply secretly believe I am the one who talked meg into this situation. I should have never brought my previous problems when I I decided to try and run from her and isolate myself from everyone around me in hopes to find a way to cope with what I though back then was a ton of guilt and regret. This brings a whole new level.
Nobody seemed to flinch when The co worker said what he has said witch was most likely the worst thing ever to have been said about me.
It almost was as if the people there almost smiled in relief that they felt the same way about me.
The next person to step up to the plate and tell a whole speech about how much of a waste of life I am is Megs dad...
He is dressed the same as everyone else. He even shaven his beard witch seems to have been in commission for a few years. He is mirroring the emotion rage more so than sadness and depression.
"I knew from the first second I seen Avery, there was something unstable, hollow and evil about him. I put my feelings aside because he made Megan happy. witch she rarely smiled after my eldest son passed. I have no words of sympathy for this martyr that has taken my daughter away from me. It was hard enough for me to handle dealing with my eldest passing. It seems as if Right when I was on the path to being able to recover and get on with my life. This murderer taken my daughter from me, he is lucky he taken his own life.for If he was still here I would be the one to put him in the ground myself. This drug addicted more animal than human person has a perfect grave in the middle of the forest never to have any sympathetic respects given to him again but the other rapid animals that resemble his true nature. I hope when his veins collapsed They collapsed with the up most excruciating pain. I hope where ever he is he still feels the pain of dying and having his last breathe escaping his body for atonement for the murder and destruction he bestowed upon my family."
Megs father lays a note upon the coffin where my body lies and everyone that was still left starts to walk away. the sunset has faded and it has turn to dusk as it gradually turns to darkness I stand above my coffin emotionless staring at the the note Megs father has left upon my resting place. It reads.
"The agony you will suffer in the fires of hell. Will never be enough to replace the life you taken from my daughter."
I close my eyes and shake my head and I am now lying underneath the tree next to a soundless sleeping meg
I lay against the tree and try to comprehend what I just had to witness in my dreams. Puzzled if that is actually what happened or if its just me having a nightmare. Either way it has taken its toll on me and left me feeling lifeless and empty this morning. Real or not just having to sit through the terrible psychological trauma of that night mare is a cheap shot in my already chinked armor of sanity.