PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Underneath the tree of lights we once again hold each other close. We are the only people we know anymore. We are lost on the other side of the coin of life. We might be dead, and just our souls transpired somewhere else. It really doesn't really matter anymore. Whats done is done. a quick act of desperation and lack of logical judgement left us in this state. The lonelier the highway the prettier the view. This statement is completely true. I have no communication or really any distractions to keep me from staring off into space looking at this new place I unfortunately call home. I can't help but gaze at our surroundings and admire its foreign beauty. I must say tho this magical place is really losing its beauty. With all these mood swings hyped up manic days or just dreadful days when I think about what we did to ourselves and everyone around us. Its high and low. Let me rephrase that. Its really high and really low. Their is no between. I am either on top of this crazy mad world or underneath it hoping I would just drift into timeless sleep. and forget about everything.

The most potent and devastating weapon a person could ever come across to use upon someone is doubt and regret. These emotions. feelings have entities of themselves it feels as if something parasitic and viral big like creature is eating your main organs from the inside out. Tearing small pieces of flesh of your heart till nothing is left. Just the empty void it leaves when these organs vanish. They seem to have bigger shapes then what organs were once there. Because nothing no matter how large or how perfect your new found replacement you have found. to fit in the wholes of the missing spaces in your heart. Will not stop the constant pain and and aching you do over time. Its like an emotion deep cut. It bleeds and never heals. But sadly you cannot die from overflowing terrible irrational thoughts like you can with dying from loss of blood. There is no stitching the wound. It just keeps eating you away eroding your body of all joy and stability. These two things I will say with adding emphases on the already terrible sounding words. Doubt and Regret. Is what makes or breaks a man. Its a force unseen many can overcome it. Some are succumbed to living with the terrible relentless emotions all their life. With little coping skills. It usually ends in isolation and hibernation from everything and everyone you love. These feelings make you vanish. They show you and help you learn how to disappear. Its certainly did to us. We are now gone. Isolated forever from everything we really ever known. Its a sharp knife of a life altering mistake. An event or list of events and mistakes leading up to a huge flip in your mentality. Everything changes even almost 100% percent of the time location and geography change as well. Leaving you in a foreign land where you are left to over think and destroy yourself from your own head. Living like a meaningless sleepless nocturnal parasite where you feed on your own dreadful emotions and everyone's kindness and hospitality around them. I seem to always end up and the wall at the end of the wrong road caused by confidentially making to many wrong turns hoping you will find the road you have been looking for. witch usually ends up in a not all the time metaphorically collision leaving you breathless and emptier than you ever were before. I would say this describes the story of my faulty life all to well.

These feelings and decisions always seem to take you to a long drawn out intermission into something that is either a far better position or a far worse position in your life. I would currently My decisions led me to far worse. Maybe possibly the worst case scenario in the whole list of outcomes many could predict. Many say life is what you make of it. But sitting under this weird tree filled with glass jars filled with orbs of light that I am still currently laying under trying to resolve my head makes me think That that statement may be false. I did make myself end up here. But I see know positive things happening in the near or even far future. Its all just empty ambient like isolated wonderland I walk alone. I am here with a friend but we both are suffering from the same head disease as each other. even tho we can relate to each other with almost everything It leaves us most of the time broken and silently aching where talking or trying to make small talk conversation impossible. It caused the once welcoming presence of the others warmth radiating from their close body even more damaging and agonizing. We both are dwindling of our sanity. To where I believe spending a few days on our own wandering aimlessly in this huge spacious desolate land in hopes to once feel purpose or find a reason to not just give up and just lie in one spot till we erode away from time. Sitting just existing. breathing and thinking. of how much we stupid reckless kids ruined what would of been a maybe descent enjoyable life.

My head is a rapid animal today. I cannot think straight especially running in and out of very frightening and real feeling night terrors. I seem to wake up every hour or so trapped without much of a choice to dream about all my demons and closet full of skeletons that his and scream my name while i try to convince myself they are not real. (or better to call it sack full of demons and skeletons because right now I even lack the hospitality of a roof over my head.) Its hard to make sense of many of these nightmares but I will run them through my head possessing the unwanted information through my head in hopes I could find a positive out of all the horror I see when I attempt to sleep....