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Days like these
I am sick of thinking about ghosts of my past witch were people I once cared about.
This year was a blur of isolation and drugs and withdraw complexities.
I have stared at my bedroom walls for far too long looking back on better times.
Its made me unstable. Its right now the only thing that makes sense too me.
Its days like these that make me want to overwhelm me making me want drown my emotions and feelings
. Every good friend I had vanished in the wind I am stuck in a wasteland of my own head.
working all night just to attempt to keep a level head.
I am now looking back on anniversaries of self inflicted tragedy.
I am stuck dealing with people of witch I have no history.
Fuck this place and position I am in. I want to go back. But there is nothing left in the cities I once lived.
Only nightmares of memories. Its days like these that remind me how alone I truly am.
Everyday is creeping closer and closer to June 29th. witch is the day. I recall as the day my life truly died and took me to a place with little meaning and no memories. I feel as if I am a ghost.
I should have died once. Its a miracle I am still alive. I know this.
But it seems it was a waste of one. Because I am really not becoming anything.
I am merely existing. Its days like these I wish the events of what happened that night on June 28th played out different.
Because I wouldn't be here. In this horrible place.
I am the definition of wasted ambition.
its days like these I struggle to find the strength to keep moving.
I am insane and mentally unstable. so be it.
But this isolation from everything I once loved and cherished in life has made me unable to feel anything but physical and mental pain.
Its almost an addicting sensation. But not the kind of feeling I would ever get used to.
Its days like these I wish I could fall asleep.
dream of a place where only me and nature existed with no sound or emotions and just simply never wake up.
