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Doubt
when in doubt, am I to take the easy way out.
I am so sick of just getting by.
Its not all I am, Its not all I could be.
I feel as if I am wasted potential.
all I have is dreams, that just fall through.
I have succumbed to my fate, I seem to just keep digging
deeper and deeper.
into my regret, all this anger, and feeling of hopeless failure is surrounding me.
its impossible to get up and get to where i out to be.
I cant escape my bedroom door.
I am just laying on the floor.
hoping, wishing my roof will cave in so all these situations will finally end.
I am without control, I am a ghost for everyone sees through all my desires,
and everyone just watches me, sit and rot on my floor.
wishing, pleading praying for something more,
I watch these negative emotions deteriorate me. and rust my soul.
they constrict me, I am unaccomplished
all I want is these thoughts and songs of mine to be heard.
but I cant even listen to my words without regret
and wish i was more talented in my passion
I am not made out for this line of work.
I am an everybody else, waiting wasting wishing I was something more.
This doubt is choking me,
and crawling through my veins.
Its suffocating me,
leaving me breathless on my open floor.
no matter how much I fight each day, the result is still the same.
I can't escape bad luck, I am not blessed with much.
I cant get up, why can't I get up.
I am so angry, so so angry.
at me and myself and everybody else
I can't collect my thoughts anymore.
writing in all is starting to destroy me.
I am not as good as I wish I was.
I am not as known as much as I wish I could be.
and I don't have the connections to the industry that I wish I had.
but thats how its always going to be.
to broke to get my two cents to the world.
to broke to offord to record how I feel.
a lost soul in this world.
but I am only human, I am a dime a dozen.
a disposable teen, with less to offer than most
Its a life routine. a bore, satisfaction only lasts so long.
doubt is a chilling devastating emotion.
I feel like giving up.
On all I desire.
simply because its to hard to acquire.
I am just an everybody else.
it comes down that my word isn't worth as much as I wish
and that wish will never come.
so I will be forever stuck fighting at low income.
wishing I had the means to make these dreams happen.
but a fallback is looking like the write answer.
maybe I should stitch my mouth shut.
and ignore my thoughts and dreams.
because no one listens.
I can only fight for so long before fatigue kicks in
and this is where it ends.
my dreams, my goals, my wishes.
are all gone with the wind.
