A Psalm a Deaf Man Can Hear

Folder:

The Influence

I am losing hope, as i cling to any foundation i can get my hands on.
yet every foothold shatters as i free fall to my end.
all i am is just a lost cause.
i can strive and strive to give meaning but i always just end up right back where i started.
i cant sleep due to my personal regrets and failures haunt me in the night
if only i couold find a place to bury my head. the comfort of another.
yet its horribly out of reach yet i would try to reach forever.
tripping over my misfortune i can only stumble upon emptyness so many times.
before i forget the meaning of life.
i would trade it all, give it all, burn it al,l just to have a place of my own. someone to call my own.
a place to drown in my tears, a place where i can bury my past.
yet this sancuary can only be found within somone else ...but does that somone else really exist...
the dawn of the day walkers has arrived...i am not alive
i bled my heart through my eyes and stabs in my back.
love is a weapon. a punishment. for every lucky man theres 12 in the shadows of misery
bound to the burden of lonelyness...
i plead to a god everynight to take this pain away..
a new one every night till i realized i was praying to my hands...
rittled witch scars of my past and cuts that i forsee in the future...
take what you will of me... do what you will with me...
i am not content i am only human nothing is ever enough...
stuck inside a nightmere where i walk the streets alone waiting for someone or something to happen to me...
nothing can kill you when you are already dead.
if only i could find salvation...who will be my salvation...?
only if salvation could come to my door.
its too scary to go out in this crowded world...
whitch even in a sea of people i am alone...
if only i had someone to guide me through this long rugged road ...
before i stray from it from good..
i am missing the breath of life...
a black hole that grew inside me and destroyed me from within...
a deafeted man lays awake fighting his demons at night..
.if only...i could...theres nothing i can do...this is my future..my life...my hell
nothing will change for the better...
i ran out of gods to pray too..friends to lean on...and loved ones...
if only i had one to hold me as i swet out these drugs i take to keep me sane.. somebody someone...?
or am i ghost for i am always wandering...
destructive devestated and defeated this heart of mine...
a widow an orphan and wolf i will always be...
a mantis i have already become for an insect can replace my role in this world...
from dusk to dawn ill wait unpatently for love until i turn to stone..
a reputour of a man...not nearly human for it takes anothers warmth to keep me alive..
almost as a parasite or virus... i am or will become ...to briefly live then pass from one life to another...
not retaining or acumulating much life for myself...
if i could sleep forever that would be fine,
i would forget about existing and will give up on dreaming for all my goals turned to disapointments...
failed from the start...
death seems so easy now i got so many ways to try to better myself but none of them seem to do the trick...
i scream silently every night and rot as i slowly watch this damned soul go more to waste.
i keep busting and breaking like shattered glass... and now theres no way to fix the damage done
. the cup would be half empty but this time the cup is gone as i through it at my reflection...
buryed in my own mind with no way of escaping this tormented life...
if i had a wish it would to be a stillborn... for i have set fire to evrything i touch...
i am a demon...i would pursue happiness and set fire to yours if my search came up short...
this is my stepoff the edge i am no longer holding on...
ill be sure to be first to find my way to the golden gate high dive... evrything ive done has been in vein...
I am once agian going in blind...and always have been blind...