The Small Things

the shit you did for us for money
how could i ever let you feel so unlovely.
i dont even know who that was
im really beginning to notice all of my flaws.
you gave me everything
and in return treated like nothing
but let me attempt to fix that feeling
and help us both do some healing.
the way i feel when you hold my hand
i dont even know where to begin.
The eskimo kissing
something ive really been missing.
the thought of the zit popping and bong hitting
laughing at each other while we're coughing
its all keeps me longing.
the foot rubs
and sitting in bath tubs.
how could you think the little things were unoticable to me
because all these little things i could see.
the nose picking and booger eating was pretty gross
but its something weird that i love most.
so comfortable around me
being the real me.
making me noodles in the dorm room
and now we sleep in seperate rooms.
falling asleep in your arms
babygirl you are my lucky charm.
rubbing my back as i fall asleep
but you next to me is all ill ever need.
stealing the blanket as me sleep close
all the times i painted your toes.
never for anyone else
even if i was girl i wouldnt do it for myself.
waking to your beautiful face
instantly making my heart race.
now i dont even feel safe
like every day my heart gets strafed.
this probably isnt something you want to hear
but i even miss you biting my ear.
i know this is weird
who would have thought we'd be apart
in different directions we've steered
but even still you have complete control of this heart.
holding hands as i drive
we rarely ever said good bye.
and now that youre gone
every moment feels like an old drake song.
shot for me
but without the hostility.
I hate sleeping alone
but fuck getting a new hoe
no place without you even feels like home
damn this shit really has me feeling low.
that new make up you got really adds a glow
should have spent more time watching your shows.
your favorite color isnt pink
but thats what we will let everyone else continue to think.
how about some netflix and chill
but you know thats me being real.
i really should have ate more
treated it more like a chore.
you would go until your sore
but nothing but pleasure for me is what you had in store.
playing with my fingers
the memories still linger.
im starting to cry
but not wishing to die.
hoping to call you mine again
against you ill never sin.
change i promise to prove
because without you sometimes i cant move.
the motivation you instilled
even took care of me the first week when i fell ill.
you think i didnt notice
i just failed to show it.
its killing me inside
and now im feeling like i deserve to die.
forcing you to lie
forcing you to hide.
all becuse you love me
even with how awful i could be.
now im in tears
thinking you even took care of me on new years.
you deserved a special night
instead of us turning out the lights.
the small things i failed to appreciate
and even now for myself i feel nothing but hate.
you didnt deserve to be put through hell again
but you were forced back in.
im sorry i did it
you didnt deserve that any bit.
this shits getting long
and might sound like a bad song.
you dealt with the worst part of me
and now i just want to give you the best i can be.
but instead here i sit and cry
trying to be fine.
but all these feelings on the inside
i just cant seem to hide.
lets get back to you though
remember the name you wrote in your journal?
maybe one day
its name everyone will say?
you walking down the aisle
giving me the biggest smile.
a dream come true
but only if its you.
the most beautiful eyes
i just wish i got more replies.
smoking in the park
sleeping in the car when it got dark.
waiting for 3 a.m.
but even those moments were a gem.
your smile makes all this pain worthwhile
and your blue eyes can be seen for miles.
i dont want to see you with anyone else
but thats something i can only blame on myself.
the first time we held hands
felt like it was truly God's plans.
the first kiss might have been bad
but another chance was quickly to be had.
the first night spent over was truly to be special
you took my whole like to a whole new level.
but now you see me as the devil
and in it all ive truly hit the ground level.
remember the first time we had gin and got drunk
me acting fast when you had thrown up?
took you to the bathroom first
before even worrying about the puke on my shorts.
kissing you even after
as we held each other in the shower.
and i know i focused more on the good than the bad
more on the happy than the sad.
there a too many scars that i left
making you want death
but even with everything we went through
i really do love you
and i just hope one day you'll still say i do.