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A Journey from joy, through Grief, unto Joy.

One man's feeling of loss for his only son.





What could have prepared me for this?

If ANYTHING COULD have,

would I have realized it then??

Is grief better unprepared-for??





I'll remember our shared joy forever.

You still bring joy to me,

even in this sadness;

and I will remember even this sadness,

and the joy I remembered in it

because of you.





How long will I love you?

Just as long as I miss you!

Love and Grief are the two sides

of the same Coin of Life.

How much would I pay

to have you back?

Well, if I close my eyes

at ANY moment,

you ARE back!

I do this often!





A broken heart will eventually heal.

Like other healed-wounds, there is a scar.

But the scars on a broken-heart are different;

they are very beautiful

because they are evidence

of our Love.





You are gone;

Part of my dreams is gone, too.

But beautiful, worthwhile dreams cannot die;

our shared dream was Love of Life, & Forever;

that won't change now,

because I still love you.

That will NEVER change,

because I'll love you forever......









......even though I don't have you with me.



You are within me, a bright, joyful place,

the spot where you always were.

And our dream is fulfilled now,

much more than I thought it ever could be.





The storm is great;

I do not pray for the smaller storm.

My boat is small;

I do not pray for a LARGER BOAT

My Anchor is God.

I am secure.  

I continue on

in this life, going ahead.

This wilderness is scary.

And lonely.

I am alone in it day-by-day.

Then, suddenly, it is Yesterday!

The day "before",

and you are HERE!

You are so REAL FOR A MOMENT!

And I know again that LOVE has NOT died!!  





There is a hollow here,

between my head and my heart.

A soft, yet solid place,

a pulse deep in it;

and I remember your baby-softness,

your baby-warmth, your baby-hum,

that once filled me there.

This helps me to smile, again................





To one who stood by, praying:

By this unanticipated grief my heart is broken;

by your unpremeditated joy my heart is healed!

(Thank you for your caring heart!)







I have NOT been abandoned.  

I DID have you by my side, for a  time.

But, now I am alone, 'though my path is charted.

You & I made plans; you finished your trip before I did.

But I go on, in your inspiration;

you are always mine, & with me.

Forever.





Many a kind word

at random spoken,

has healed the soft heart

so freshly broken.

(Thank you for those words);



       Friend, I wondered why

      I was allowed to survive.

      then your smile came by,

     and I knew why I was alive.





In our memories of our beloved,

Love is still very much alive.

By your sympathies you understand,

and Love grows stronger, and will survive.





         I may not be what  I  think I am;

         I may not be what YOU think I am;

     but I AM what I think that YOU think I am.



I keep up my mask,

NOT to hide from you,

but because you need not ask

"How's it going?"...for you

                           already

                                know.



GOD GIVES US OUR MEMORY

THAT WE MAY KNOW

THE BLOOM & SCENT--SO SUMMERY!--

IN DECEMBER'S SNOW.





OH!, anguish!

What a terrible thing

I've had to go through!  

Now I must go on & on

......without you!



Oh!, these embalming tears!

that keep your memory

so well-preserved!





Friends come to me, quietly,

their sad eyes, sadder, warm tears

all telling me silently, the same thing:

"I understand".

If they had used words & voices

they wouldn't have said as much.

Their eyes & their tears

said more than words

ever could.



(Please sign our Guest-book this way:

"If you need to talk to someone

today, tomorrow, or any day,

any time, here is my number."

Then do not be surprised

when I call you.)







I did not CHOOSE to know this loss;

I will not EVER choose to relenquish

the many beauties of Memory

left to me,

despite this loss.





You may not know what to say;

you may not understand what to do;

but I KNOW exactly what I need you to be:

the true friend of my heart,

as you've always been.





All Yesterdays WERE;

all Tomorrows MAY BE;

but Today IS, NOW;

and I need to know

you are here,

Today, for me.

My friend.





Don't think "Can I do this....?"

But look at ALL that has led to "this",

& remember God's strenghth so far,

& then pray

"Lord, what will You & I do with this?"







I Walked Awhile With Joy.

Our words were light and free,

but now, no matter how hard I try,

I cannot remember what Joy said to me........



I'm walking now with Sorrow.

Our dialog is dull & sad,

but I'll remember this, tomorrow:

were it not for the Sorrow

there'd be less value

in the Joys I knew,

the love I had,

with you.





Your memory is my light-house.

Your remembered-joy is what keeps me

from crashing my boat of Hope

onto the rocks of grief.

Your memory is my light-house.





My soul pauses day-by-day

and inhales the sweet fragrance

of Hope that comes

whenever I remember.....

......and I remember often.





God lends us Grief

so that we may take the time

to re-tune our heart-strings

for the new Music

which He

will let us hear

tomorrow.





PATIENCE

is the

GARDEN

where

HOPE

is allowed to

GROW

on the nourishment of

LOVE:

God loves His Gardens.

Gardens love God.

God is Love.

Spend more time

in your Garden

of Patience

with God.





There is no tomorrow for those

who will always love:

for Lovers, Time is Timeless.





Your smile, in memory,

always quiets my soul.

Your memory (I'm smiling!)

always quickens my heart!





NOW  I  WILL  GO  ON



Yesterday you were mine.

Today you are mine, but I must let you go.

Tomorrow I'll greet you, and again I'll tell you:

Forever, I've loved you!!  







Heaven's gladdest words:

"Hello, Daddy!"