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Albert Ellis

I blew Albert Ellis today and...

he said I was the best lay,

he ever had.



We let all the other Ph.D.s watch, and...

Carl Jung said it was fun.

Sigmund Freud was annoyed.

Arnold Lazarus didn't know what was the matter with us.

William Glasser told us to go faster.

B.F. Skinner said I was a winner.

Fritz Perls, well you know (he wanted to give me a necklace).



And, to think, I went to this conference filled with dread and...it ended up just cuming to head.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was inspired by a co-worker of mine after we discussed how one of our professors was bragging about A. Ellis attempting to seduce her.  So... we decided to out do her.

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last updated 12 October 2010 - 5:26am
©26 November 2000 - 6:00am — toobuena
27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Trevor Daniels (not verified)
Trevor Daniels's picture

haha very umm unique?

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Violet Carolina (not verified)
Violet Carolina's picture

What a hoot of a story for all of us "psycho" people. Funny!

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Douglas Lazard (not verified)
Douglas Lazard's picture

B. F. Skinner said you were the winner !....... I think you are too!!! This is absolutly brilliant !! Thanks ! Dougie

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — AsiD ReiGN (not verified)
AsiD ReiGN's picture

I'm just writing a review for each poem on the top ten (Or 20 in this weeks case) and I figured it wouldn't be fair if I didn't include yours. This was...unique to say the least. Thanks for sharing. AsiD

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — gentle
gentle's picture

YA KNOW, YOU GAVE ME A GOOD LAUGH!! This was just hilarious. I love the referral to all the great male "know - it- alls". Thanks for posting... Amy

Gentle is the night♥

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Meena Chopra (not verified)
Meena Chopra's picture

Very intersting.... Congratulation for being on the top ten

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Melvin Lee (not verified)
Melvin Lee's picture

HAhahahahaaa... wat a HOOT u are. Entertaining poem with a funny theme...Wonder what Mr Ellis would think of this?~! COngrats for being chosen TWICE for the Topten....a most deservedly honor. Smilesz.

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — The Hook (not verified)
The Hook's picture

Well.....at least you didn't blow it here!!! Congrats on the "Top Ten".....it is a funny piece... and btw, I can promise you that Perls probably bought the necklace with the money he got from selling spectator tickets!!!! (A bit cheap he was!!) Great job!!!

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Kristine Snow (not verified)
Kristine Snow's picture

Geneva, This was a fun poem. I enjoyed it immensely! Kris

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Deborah Russell (not verified)
Deborah Russell's picture

Well congratulations on making the Top Ten...funny stuff!

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Rachelle Wiegand (not verified)
Rachelle Wiegand's picture

Geneva, Oh my gosh! This one is too much! You had me going for awhile...LOL! What an excellent piece! goes to show you how powerful thy pen is! You know what I got from this? Whomever the bragger is, she is most certainly insecure about her own sexuality to be bragging about it to begin with, and then I must add that if Mr. Ellis is indeed the genius and man that I get from this piece, she would have been priviledged to have had such an opportunity as to be seduced by such grandeur! LOL! I really enjoyed the way you "Fought back" so to speak with this piece. Sticking up for someone you admire while telling the story with humor! What a great piece! I enjoyed it much!

27 November 2000 - 6:00am — Robertpaullocke (not verified)
Robertpaullocke's picture

I thought I might repay the favor and reading your poems. I really like the humour in this tail.