I know what I'm doing
is seen as very wrong,
but there's something
about it that draws me in....
The feeling of pain
when i touch the blade
against my skin,
the sight of the blood
popping up to the surface
as i drag the blade,
the sensation of both
panic and calm,
mixing together
in my mind.
I know I shouldn't
do this,
but I actually like it
The way my skin heals
and then leaves a scar behind,
to remind me:
I'm still here,
I'm still alive,
I still bleed,
I still heal.
I'm not gone,
I'm not dead,
I'm not bloodless,
I'm not unfixable....
This cutting
makes me feel again...