When I think of the girl,
that is perfect for me.
Everyday I picture it,
the same girl I see.
Long brown flowing hair,
a smile like the stars.
And a kiss so sweet and tender,
it erases all my scars.
The eyes so beautiful,
that stare deeply into mine.
Filled with love and kindness,
that is only one of a kind.
I still have not found this girl,
her picture I won't erase.
My heart is always searching for her,
at a hummingbirds pace.
My emotions are so impatient,
I feel the need to fine her soon.
For the love building up inside of me,
is as large as the glorious moon.
My heart is overflowing,
with feelings I can't express.
For they are saved for the one I love,
and that more I cannot stress.
Those three words I cannot utter,
and it causes the greatest pain.
The way I am feeling,
only impatient lovers can explain.
We have so much ambition,
to find the one we'll give our heart.
And if we cannot find her,
we begin to fall apart.
We begin to lose hope,
even though we know she's there.
Mine with her tender kiss,
and her brown flowing hair.
There's just a voice in our mind,
saying you have to get this off your chest.
You have to find that girl and tell her,
and finally give your racing heart a long deserved rest.
But true love takes time,
it doesn't come from just anywhere.
You have to find two love filled hearts,
that share that star filled stare.
You have to make sure there's a spark,
that tells you it was meant to be.
That electrical shock through your spine,
that shows you the girl you've been waiting to see.
But it's hard for we impatient lovers,
for we hate to sit around and wait.
But we know if it means our destiny,
then that time we are willing to take.
8/23/04
wonderful work
on this one i loved it
Once again, a feeling that I know well. I too used to be an impatient lover untill I was so sure that I had found the right one only to later discover how wrong I was. Yes you do have someone out there for you... but try not to be too impatient, you may confuse the wrong girl for the right one if you're too anxious to jump in. As far as poetic structure goes, this poem had an essance of forced rhyme. If you let your emotion flow without boundary you will soon learn how to be poetic without rhyme. Also, your format was smoothe for the most part, but lines like "and finally give your racing heart a long deserved rest." were a bit choppy and could use some minor cutting of syllables. I see a lot of potential in your writing... keep it up and you will inspire a lot of people with your ability to express naked human emotions. Keep up the good work.
Jesus Saves