PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

no. here's the tl;dr version of the story.

i was addicted to oxycodone/oxycontin from the time i was 15 til i was about 20 then i quit when i met a chick and i moved from australia to vermont to go be with her. she was doing oxys the whole time we were together. we got engaged, broke up after she was sleeping with some unfunny lamer who was like the intellectual equiv of a 11 year old who had just discovered 4chan for the first time and would post the dumbest lolcat pictures all of the time constantly on his facebook behind my back. i had a nervous breakdown, started doing oxys again (which mind you are fucking EXPENSIVE AS FUCK on the east coast [dollar a miligram so that's a pretty fucking hefty bill]) and after like 8 months my tolerance was so high that i couldn't afford to keep it up and started doing heroin. 3/4 of a bag of heroin (15 dollars worth) would get me way higher for longer than 2 80 mg oxys would so... work that out.

blah blah blah started injecting blah blah blah speedballing blah blah blah drug problem blah blah blah crack. then i kinda had a realization that i was going downhill. i wanted to dkill myself all of the time and i didn't feel anything. i moved back to california since i hadn't really seen my grandparents or my mum since i got sent to live with my dad when i was 15 (it was like 22 when i moved back to cali)i didn't want my grandparents to be disappointed that i had turned into a heroin addict since they pretty much raised me and instead of going on the methadone program or whatever i did something a bit.... unorthodox (drinking cough syrup all day every day [dextromethorphan isn't an opiate but it's a morphine derivative and has very very weak effects on the opiate receptors in your brain at high doses [kinda like ketamine] and i did that for like a year which turned me into a kinda walking retard since that shit fucks your world up. it is one of the most fucked up and intense drugs i had ever done esp at the doses i was doing and doing it every single god damn day was horrible and stupid and hard on my body and now i don't even know HOW i did it.

i still think i would have preferred what i did to the methadone/buprenorphine program however.

all in all i think it's been 2 1/2 years since i was addicted to heroin. there's been like 2 times since where i've used it but it was more celebratory (once after i got my degree and once for something else) and i didn't fiend out for it. it's been probally about a year year and a half since i quit pounding bottles of cough syrup too. i don't want to become a pathetic drug addict again.

god i am a bad person lololololoolol at least i've never like stolen shit or like sucked the dick for drugs i guess