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I sometimes wonder if this pain is my own,

As it runs up and down, aching this spine,

A part of me, or the world outside?

Too confused to wonder this time.

I sometimes wonder if this pain is my sun,

But I cannot be sure,

I cannot see,

If I revolve around it, or it revolves around me.

Knocking down walls that were never there,

Punching through walls,

But I’m just punching air.

I sometimes wonder where my life is going,

I fear I’m going nowhere,

I cling to these walls, these pristine floors,

I cling to everyone and everything.

I’m scared and I’m weeping,

I’m tired, not sleeping.

I know of you, and that’s all I know,

We fell out of touch so long ago,

All of these faces, where did they go?

For they sit here scratching at my memory,

They won’t let go, won’t let me be.

Everybody always leaves,

And I know they never think of me,

I know.

All these words just stain me further,

They hurt, they sting, they stab,

This pain has become a part of me,

And I fear it will remain,

Here comes the dread again.