Definitely an epitaph to be avoided; and a very effective Senryu. I applaud your respect for the traditional 5/7/5 format. The word "twas" sounds top archaic, and more appropriate substitutes are available; but the poem is still quite effective and very much to the point.
Definitely an epitaph to be
Definitely an epitaph to be avoided; and a very effective Senryu. I applaud your respect for the traditional 5/7/5 format. The word "twas" sounds top archaic, and more appropriate substitutes are available; but the poem is still quite effective and very much to the point.
Starward