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My Fear Of Committment

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Heartache

I tried my hardest not to,

but I went and did it again.

I let myself get attached to someone,

now I'm filled with pain.



It's nothing that you did,

I freak out like this a lot.

I thought that I was ready for a relationship,

but I guess that I was not.



I just don't to hurt you,

although I know it's too late.

I'm not ready for a committment now,

but I still would like to date.



So please forgive me, it's all my fault.  

I've done this before.

Just when I think that I'm okay,

I freak out some more.



I know it's wrong, but I can't help it.  

I think I'm messed up in the head.

I love dating and I love romance,

but it's the committment thing that I dread.



I don't blame you for hating me,

to me you've been so nice.

How do I return the favor?

By turning into ice.



Right now just is not the right time,

I'm sorry for the way I treated you.

You might not think that I'm genuinely sorry,

But I do regret hurting you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm so sorry.  I've been in a few not good relationships where I've been hurt emotionally worse than I could have ever imagined, and now I can't shake the fear that it's going to happen again.  Whenever I get close to someone, I freak out.  To those that I've hurt, I apologize.  You're all absolutely wonderful, and I'm just demented.

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last updated 12 October 2010 - 4:54am
©18 August 2002 - 11:31pm — teresa
20 August 2002 - 7:01am — Bobbie Carpenter (not verified)
Bobbie Carpenter's picture

Cute poem girl! You're really speaking clearly from the bottom of your heart. I can relate, believe me! Just know that you're young (until you're 60:)) so just go with the flow and have fun in your life! You don't need a man yet! You've got lots of time! Just date and be free!:) Know I'm always here for ya girl. We have to hook up and hit the clubs in Mo'Town sometime soon! TTYL!

18 August 2002 - 11:54pm — Tim / manatee Marshall (not verified)
Tim / manatee Marshall's picture

Back again,you're to young,look at all that is possible
things hasnt started to happen yet,some deserving good guys out there waiting and will wait ok baby, believe!
L&P

18 August 2002 - 11:44pm — Tim / manatee Marshall (not verified)
Tim / manatee Marshall's picture

Hey when its not rite it wrong,guys lol we wait forever to get into a pretty girls pants,why dont you just hang loose look around and love finds us all,sex is like a challenge ? a game - just fun,but guys dont get preggy !
good writing
L&P