if i cared

mom my life is waisting

far away from here

mom my dreams are breaking

mixing with my tears

and i don't know what's better

to feel or to die

and i don't know what's easier

to fight or say good-bye

and i feel

about as much as anybody

and i feel

but i can't seem to care

dad my days are fading

i can't find the light

dad the stars aren't shining

they're no longer bright

and i don't know what's better

to feel or to die

and i don't know what's easier

to fight or say good bye

and if i cared

i could have had another day

and if i cared

life would have never been this way

if i cared at all...




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Kaler Cook's picture

I think this one is my favorite so far. I don't know what to tell you though, that you haven't heard a thousand times before so I won't try, but it was great. :)

pendersnatch's picture

This is good. One note, in the first line, 'waisting' should be 'wasting' unless that's some kind of pun that is going over my head...

Anyway... This is very good. I can't explain why exactly. The form has something to do with it. The repetition is efective and dramatic. Other than that, maybe it's just the theme of desperation. It's a good one... and well written.

IM me sometime (ikikdababy) and we'll talk about living in Kansas City and how drab and boring it is. (I live in Independence).