ostracised

 

Ostracised

By jfarrell

 

It starts early, that’s all I really understand,

Before I started school I was ‘outside’;

Left to feel ‘not a part’;

Left to feel unwanted.

 

When I started school, I was already the perfect victim;

‘No-one cares, no-one’s gonna stop us’;

Everyone knew it,

And so, they didn’t stop.

 

Bullied from the day I started school

Until the day I left;

I hoped it would stop there;

We’re all adults, now, right?

 

What a fool I was back then.

Maybe.

I hurt, but wasn’t going to school and stabbing someone

Because of it.

 

But, three months short of my 50th birthday, maybe…

I’ve never trusted anyone enough to have friends;

I don’t know how to feel comfortable around people

And I probably never will

 

I don’t know how many billions people on this planet, it doesn’t matter;

I see and hear you, but you are as out of reach

As the people I see on TV screens

And… if I did reach out… and touch one of you… you’d scream

 

Here, outside of everyone, looking in;

I don’t feel lonely; I don’t feel rejected;

I feel hated.

My parents ostracised me back then and this where I sit today.

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

there must be a way back in, right?

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