PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Perceptions

   By jfarrell

Mine are wrong;

I’m pretty sure I was told the same in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy;

And I was advised today

‘change your perceptions’.

Seriously….

Thinking nice thoughts is the answer?

The logic, the arguments about being positive,

I understand them

But when the lift door opens

And a bald-headed, viscous dog wielding thug

Says “one more word outta you and I smacking you in the teeth”

The only thought I got room for

Is “please don’t hit me”

It must be really nice,

Experiencing people as generally being very nice;

I can’t help but feel terror at everyone I meet.

At 49 years old, I’ve never respected anyone,

Don’t know how to;

I know to feel afraid of you, or a little less afraid of you;

Until you hurt me…

I don’t know how to respect, love, trust, value you

I could list all the therapies and pills,

But I won’t;

It’s not just friends;

I have a sister, who I only phone on her birthday

And I still won’t speak a word, or visit, my mum

And I won’t;

That’s my choice!

My perception is that life is sh*t, people hurt;

And be doing myself and the world a favour by hanging myself;

My perceptions are wrong

But I’m damn if I know how to change them