My Buddy

Folder: 
Not So Cute (G-PG)

After the initial turkey assault

Psycho ex-rednecks

And snorting salt

After the Resident Evil tirades

Ferrachio moments

Gus' twin blades

After Big Naki Black once said "shit"

I've never recovered

No doubt about it

After Stone Pony got sick in my van

Sexy Beast on the telly

Yeah, that was fun, man

After the Saturday night Cartoon binges

Up way too late

Again, my wife cringes

After my little boy attacks on sight

Yet he does not die

Though someday he might

After all of this happens again

You're simply still more

Than poet and friend

Author's Notes/Comments: 

For Keith Liverworstlicker Whitacre.

Yeah, there are a lot of inside jokes here. I suppose I could take a few moments and let you and anyone else who reads this tripe in on it!

After the initial Turkey Assault: The first day I worked with Keith, he called me from where he was to let me know that a bunch of turkeys were converging on me. I thought he meant a bunch of stupide people--but no, he meant actual turkeys. They were mean, too.
Pscycho ex-rednecks: His reference to his ex-wife. If half the stories I've heard of her are true, it is a well-deserved title.
Snorting salt: A theory, not a practice.
Resident Evil tirades: Keith is a fan of the survival-horror genre of video games. I remain skeptical, but supportive. Kind of like homeopathy.
Ferrachio moments: Nostalgic reminiscings about a co-worker nicknamed "Vic Ferrachio" by a comic genius we both know and love. Vic was not a very pleasant person.
Gus' twin blades: My supervisor showed us a dual-bladed lockblade he was given as a present. It's a wicke, wicked thing, with a black steel blade pointing up and another pointing down. Keith and I both ooed and ahhed over it.
Big Naki Black: Another nicknamed co-worker, but this one is a friend. He rarely curses, and when he does, it's quite disturbing.
Stone Pony: The aforementioned comic genius. He once was ill in my van, which is equipped with a VCR. He and Keith watched "Sexy Beast" (excellent flick) while I chuckled as Stone Pony's face turned interesting shades of green.
Cartoon Binges: Keith and I are devout Adult Swim fans. And my wife picks on us about this incessantly.
Little boy attacks on sight: Keith is a giant punching bag for my son. Neither seems to mind.
More than poet and friend? If there is a friend version of the "soulmate", Keith is it.  
NOTE: He will think me very gay for saying that.

--stu

View stustaub's Full Portfolio
keithwhitacre's picture

To the second commenter:
Bill: "Dude, you're alive!"
Ted: "Yeah, I fell out of my suit of amor when I hit the floor!"
(they hug)
Both: "Fag!"

And the inside jokes just keep coming. Such as the nightly production of "Sleeping with Skeeter"...

stustaub's picture

To the above commenter: Yeah, there are a lot of inside jokes here. I suppose I could take a few moments and let you and anyone else who reads this tripe in on it!

After the initial Turkey Assault: The first day I worked with Keith, he called me from where he was to let me know that a bunch of turkeys were converging on me. I thought he meant a bunch of stupide people--but no, he meant actual turkeys. They were mean, too.
Pscycho ex-rednecks: His reference to his ex-wife. If half the stories I've heard of her are true, it is a well-deserved title.
Snorting salt: A theory, not a practice.
Resident Evil tirades: Keith is a fan of the survival-horror genre of video games. I remain skeptical, but supportive. Kind of like homeopathy.
Ferrachio moments: Nostalgic reminiscings about a co-worker nicknamed "Vic Ferrachio" by a comic genius we both know and love. Vic was not a very pleasant person.
Gus' twin blades: My supervisor showed us a dual-bladed lockblade he was given as a present. It's a wicke, wicked thing, with a black steel blade pointing up and another pointing down. Keith and I both ooed and ahhed over it.
Big Naki Black: Another nicknamed co-worker, but this one is a friend. He rarely curses, and when he does, it's quite disturbing.
Stone Pony: The aforementioned comic genius. He once was ill in my van, which is equipped with a VCR. He and Keith watched "Sexy Beast" (excellent flick) while I chuckled as Stone Pony's face turned interesting shades of green.
Cartoon Binges: Keith and I are devout Adult Swim fans. And my wife picks on us about this incessantly.
Little boy attacks on sight: Keith is a giant punching bag for my son. Neither seems to mind.
More than poet and friend? If there is a friend version of the "soulmate", Keith is it.
NOTE: He will think me very gay for saying that.

--stu

Not Grouchy's picture

I detected a lot of inside comments on this, which made this poem very personal-I almost felt that I shouldn't be reading it! Keith is lucky to have a friend who writes poetry about him-and carries it off with both humor and a touch of dignity. =) Good job.