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This intense burning in my soul

It feels like something is wanting to get out

Have i really bottled things up for to long?

i havnt cried properly in ages

i feel unable to

instead my body bleeds away the pain!

I know its stupid and i know i will be judged

thats why i hide away my pain

in my fake smiles and laughs

But for a second last night things were different

i couldnt laugh and i couldnt smile

I couldnt feel anything

I didnt feel happy or sad

Just in a blank stare

Now i know i want to cry

and i know i really should

maybe thats all i need but i cant do it

i cant produce a single tear

i need to hide away and cry for years upon years

because thats how much im hurting

and i know i cannot lie to myself anymore.