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Footnote: Message In A Small Capsule

"Tell us in Haiku what

'out there' is like," they asked. Can

so few syllables

describe such devastation?

Was this rubble, once, the Earth?"


Kyakuchuu

aka

Starward

[*/+/^]

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The request in the first two lines is meant to allude to the commission given the fictional Poet, Gallinger, in Roger Zelazny's magnificent science fiction story, "A Rose For Ecclesiastes."  I highly recommend the story, which is one of the most literate, allusive, and gut-wrenching tales, in any genre, that I have ever read.  

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last updated 10 April 2024 - 4:13am
©6 July 2023 - 2:38pm — J-9thxciv
7 July 2023 - 5:19am — patriciajj
patriciajj's picture

Wow! You did it! By shrewdly

Wow! You did it! By shrewdly skipping to the aftermath, and with an accomplished agility that lives up to the form, you fit an epic into a capsule.

 

Many great writers have created protracted stories around this dystopian theme, but all you had to do was take an applause-worthy snippet of conversation and turn it, gracefully, into a thriller. I do love the suggestion of a great chasm, perhaps ideological or cultural, but certainly of distance, between the worlds that have converged.

 

Emphasizing "the" at the end spoke volumes as well.

 

A stunning maneuver. Take a bow, fine Poet! 

 
7 July 2023 - 12:45pm — J-9thxciv
J-9thxciv's picture

Thank you.  As a kid, I used

Thank you.  As a kid, I used to dream of writing science fiction, but was intimidated by length . . . even the length of a short story.  I just couldn't sustain it.  I think that was my inclination to Poetry making an early appearance before I even realized what it was.  Maybe this poem was beginning to form even then (lol).  Thanks again for the comment.

J-9th94