The most gorgeous shades of gray.

peeling back the layers of my life

I can pull out the darkest things

and they serve no purpose

but to hound me into unworthiness

 

I guess I stumble and fall often

and the darkness draws the light

and I cant help it.

I cant chase away my sins

or the betrayal of my own happiness

 

I almost let the devil have his way with me again.

I nearly fell into the firey pit

and the Good Lord sent his white Knight to save me

and I was saved.

 

but I am loney in this tower

and

 forgiveness seems so easy

now that I miss the fire

 

I dont try to feed it it

 seems to exist on nothing

although it bites into me

 like a a rabid hound.

 

and these are thoughts of intollerablle honesty

I wish I could hide from.

that i, who want to cherish so much

 the blessings I have

and have paid for so dearly

 I should hold them high to the heavens and honour them

yet, rather, 

I still crave the greater cost of darkness

 like a moth to a flame

 

there is no help for the endlessly forgiving.

 

the road to hell it seems is paved with good intentions.

mine it seems is paved with forgiveness

and taking love for granted because even though

I will know the pain upon payment

of all i stand to lose

it is all erased

in that selfish act of forgiveness.

 

though the hard black line is drawn;

 my heart and soul simply ignores it.

 

all the wise and light in the universe

does no good for me.

a fool is a fool

even a wise fool

in when in love.

 

and this lusty fuck dust

is glistening so thick in our eyes*

 you can never see through it.

 

I wish it was that.

but it isnt.

its love.

pure and selfless

and it craves the darkness

 

because it wants so much

to balance everything

into one perfect shade of grey

where all things

 are ephemerally constant

and nothing but the motion of love

 sustains.

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a journal.

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nightlight1220's picture

You obviously see through it

You obviously see through it my Ssmoothe one. It's just that you need a little more confidence in knowing how beautiful and love is. So beautiful, that yes, we hide from it at times under layers and layers of what we have been taught love is. It's light too real, too "good for us", too virtuous...of which I have always seen in your writes underneath all the flamboyancy. Oh yes.. Ssmmmooooothe.. my dear, Ssmoothe  Stay just as you are...and more of the same.

...-peace and a smile-

.NL

.


...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."

"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "

 

Moonshadow's picture

WOW! SSmoothie! My favorite

WOW! SSmoothie! My favorite lines:

 

and this lusty fuck dust

is glistening so thick in our eyes*

 you can never see through it.

 

What a way with words you have! missed you too! inbox me. :) 


Dont look for me, I'll find you ~Moonshadow

SSmoothie's picture

Ok PP peoples I have finished

Ok PP peoples I have finished this poem. A long time since i actually finished one. let me know what you think? Hugss!


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."

Jesster's picture

Bravo!

I think it's absolutely beautiful. Breathtakingly... Nice work!


Copyright © JessterStarshine

Jesster's picture

Gasp! Ssmoothie! You've done

Gasp! Ssmoothie! You've done it again. Damn girl, I love your mind.


Copyright © JessterStarshine

SSmoothie's picture

ditto my lovely, you have

ditto my lovely, you have moments of my extreme clarity sprinkled through out your wonderful works hugss.


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's love, but not as we know it."