My Passion, My Love

My passion, my love

That I sometimes feel I am undeserving of
I am only with you because I was given a shove
That I now believe came from above
The way it struck me caught me off guard
And left me with an attitude of complete disregard
For what I was really meant to do
Like please my kin and follow through
On my (their) plans to remain untrue
To who I am and who I’ve turned into
Over the years, all I’ve ever really wanted
Was to live my life not feeling haunted
By the one thing I know I will come to regret
Which is leaving my passion, my love out in the rain to get wet.
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I became a violinist when my best friend wanted to take the same elective as me back in middle school. I never really wanted to do it, but I did it anyway. For her. I found out she moved to another school, however, and was stuck in that class. Alone. I wasn't actually alone, though. Felt like I was. Looked like I was. But I wasn't. Turns out, that class was where I'd learn to play the one thing that still keeps me going in life. The violin. Many years later, and I'm still playing it. You'd think I'm planning on pursuing it in college. I'm not. My parents want me to become a doctor and will, surely, disown me if I do anything but. So, here I am. One year left before i put down the reason I wake up in the morning. 

Starward's picture

Visiting this a little more

Visiting this a little more than a year after my first read, i willl simply ask how are things going?


Enjoy effulgent days,exquisite nights, unto

the exultations of Heaven.

Starward

Southern_Violinist's picture

So far, things are better! I

So far, things are better! I was recently promoted to first chair of my orchestra, which got my parents to truly realize my potential in the string world. I start college soon and while I will not be majoring or minoring in music performance, I will be taking an orchestra class and private lessons to continue honing my skills. I'm incredibly excited and glad that things are beginning to work out in my favor! Thank you for following up. It means a lot.


The Southern Violinist.

Starward's picture

My parents did everything

My parents did everything they possibly could to discourage my desire to write poetry, and even to sabatoge it (twice).  They could not understand that it was possible to have a career (although my career, as it turned out, what not what they had wanted) and a passionate avocation at the same time.  Look at the great American poet, Wallace Stevens:  the greatest American poet of the 20th century (so considered by many), but also a lawyer and an executive vice president at an insurance company.  Like Stevens, I believe that one's avocation is nurtured and protected behind the screen of one's career.  The reason you wake up in the morning can still be protected from parental or collegiate interference by careful planning, maybe double majoring, stuff like that.  And I know it sounds easier said than done; and, when I was your age, i might not have listened to the advice of some random old man, either.  But I have been led safely through many mazes and obstacles---a good many put up by my parents, my employers, and even my college---and my avocation (as proved by my gallery here at postpoems) is doing just fine.  I think you have it in you to get through those mazes and obstacles with great success.


Enjoy effulgent days,exquisite nights, unto

the exultations of Heaven.

Starward