In the light
We wander
Into the
Rocky chasm.
In the night
We wonder
About the
Starry abyss.
In the light
We clamber
Around the
Daunting edges.
In the night
We amble
About the
Haunted ridges.
In the light
We are humbled
By the grandeur
Of what lays
Before our feet.
In the night
We are crumpled
By the expanse
Of what lays
Beyond our reach.
I'm awed by the ingenious use
I'm awed by the ingenious use of contrast—how it contacts and expands our viewpoint, bridging night and day, heaven and earth, the splendor of the seen with the transcendental mysteries of beyond . . . then ending on a breathless note of vastness and wonder.
A beguiling and conscious-expanding achievement. My thanks to Starward for sharing.
To Patriciajj: you're
To Patriciajj: you're welcome. To Sky: when you have a comment from Patriciajj, you know you have arrived in the presence of greatness.
Starward
Untold
I will say this about commendation. If you expect it then, you do not deserve it, and if you do not, then you should be commended all the more. Choosing to do the right thing is not worth a thought if it is done for recognition.
We'll just keep writing 'til there's nothing left to write.
We'll just keep waiting 'til they read all our works left to right.
I am going to recommend this
I am going to recommend this poem to postpoems' greatest poet, Patriciajj. She is exquisitely talented, a poet who speaks for the Cosmos itself. I think she will agree with my opinion of this poem.
Starward
The poem is excellent, and
The poem is excellent, and the metamorphosis of the verb in the second line of each stanza is a brilliant strategy. It is like watching a transformation---of language, of thought, and of the emotions that this poem evokes. I wish I had been as talented as you are when I was your age.
Starward
Thanks!
Appreciated Starward! I was attempting to mirror each stanza to reflect its opposite, and constructing the line with same number of syllables as well as finding the rights words which either rhyme or contained similar spellings/letters as its opposite seemed the best way to do it.
We'll just keep writing 'til there's nothing left to write.
We'll just keep waiting 'til they read all our works left to right.
Your success and talent are
Your success and talent are both very obvious in the poem.
Starward
What is GCNP ?
What is GCNP ? I'm curious
©bishu
Grand Canyon National Park.
Grand Canyon National Park.
We'll just keep writing 'til there's nothing left to write.
We'll just keep waiting 'til they read all our works left to right.