The small grey cat paced anxiously by the reflecting pond. Momma was so sad, but he couldn't see why - there were no new losses since Spud had joined the Angel Pride. He knew all of Momma's furbabies and they were all here now except for the female tux Daddy rescued and named Timber. Spud had been the last to arrive here several months ago. But still she was so sad. "Momma, if I knew what was wrong I would try to fix it. But I just cannot see what has happened." The little grey boy laid down near the water's edge and tried to see what had happened, but all he could see was Momma's sadness. "Maybe I am just too simple-minded." He laid his head down feeling he was missing something that would solve the question in his mind.
Soot now had met and gotten to know all of Momma's babies that were here, the ones with names Momma and Daddy had given to them and the ones who had only their feline names. And it was amazing to him that now they all got along, even Dracula and Kung Pau. Almost as if thinking of him had conjured him up, the large tuxedo kitty spoke from behind Soot snapping him out of his musings. Soot instantly recognized the deep rumbly voice and looked back at his older brother. "You are worrying over nothing and working yourself into a state. Momma is fine and nothing bad has happened. Do you remember what Momma said her friend Lobo would say about sadness? He said sometimes memories come unbidden and cause the waves of sorrow to visit - but that is just love missing a tangible form. Momma is just remembering us and those tears are just her love for us escaping and trickling down her face."
Soot thought for a moment of all of the members of Momma's Angel Pride, "It must seem so quiet there now. And it seems so hard to believe how many times her heart broke when one of us had to leave, and the people she held as special who also had to leave . . . ." He paused to look back at Momma in the reflecting pond. "She would laugh if she could see the huge basket of stuffed animals Punky has that she can sleep in now. Or if she could see the collection of shoes Big-Big has that he can tote around now. And she would be amazed at how calm and loving Opal Triplet is now."
Dracula thought for a moment, "Maybe if we help her remember something special to her about each of us it will help, things like Punky wedging into the basket of beanie babies and falling asleep, or Opal being a grump and soooo aloof. Except for a few, the Backyard Pride really didn't let her get too close, but she still loved each of them. She was so happy when Goldie began rubbing against her in the mornings when she fed them. And he stunned the vets when he crawled into he arms after the dogs attacked him." Dracula got quiet, "Do you feel that? Her heart is calming as she remembers. So maybe if we help her remember them all and the love and not just the pain."
Dracula got a distant look and began speaking softly, "I never met either Velvet or Frisky or Whizzer or Prissy until I got here, but I had heard Momma talk about them. I think she said Velvet was the first kitty to own her, but he ran away when he was still very young. But Momma would talk about him sitting on the patio fence to tease the dog next door, and the boy who owned the dog turning him loose on Velvet. Poor dog only wanted to be friends but he always forgot and licked Velvet, and Velvet knew that meant a bath (and he hates baths) and he would smack the dog and give him a bloody nose.”
Frisky owned Momma next and they sort of grew up together. Momma would still smile talking about Friskie's baby robin one Easter. Momma had just got home from college for Easter break and her dad wanted to take a family photo, and Momma's Mom had tried to spoil Friskie because she missed Momma, so she had gained some weight. A baby robin had fallen from a nest and Friskie had spotted it and was going after it. With her weight her run started slow but increased as she ran. The family noticed and several hollered 'Friskie, NO!'. She slammed on her breaks but with her speed and weight she couldn't stop and slid across the bird. Everyone laughed and Friskie turned her nose up like she never really wanted the bird anyway. Momma has lots of funny stories about Friskie from growing up together.”
“When Momma moved out to her own apartment Friskie went with her. So Momma let Whizzer adopt her from a neighbor. She said she did that because she didn't want Friskie to get lonely while she was at work. Whizzer was full of energy and Daddy even snap trained her! She was also destructive and in desperation she was de-clawed. Momma always said they got lucky to have a wonderful and very skilled vet so Whizzer never had problems with her feet. Momma said she would look so puzzled when she would try to claw something up and nothing happened. But somewhere along the way she figured out how to curl her paw into a fist and she could really punch a hard one. I think last I saw her was just a few moments ago in a huge paper stack shredding it and so happy!”
“When Friskie left Momma to come here Momma worried about Whizzer being lonely, so she went to a place called a pound and found Prissy. It took a while for Prissy to get over how cruel the people who dumped her at the pound had been to her, but she did finally realize she was safe and loved so she adopted Momma and Daddy. Momma always said she was so very timid but she was very sweet to people once she knew they were safe."
Dracula looked at Soot, "You know most of us came because of Gimpy. Gimpy made Momma sad and mad at whoever she lived with before, because they dumped her because she got pregnant and somehow also broke her leg so she had a bad limp, but Momma felt that they were mean to her too because she never did trust anyone after she was dumped."
Soot looked at Dracula, "I remember Momma talking about how young you were when she found you alone floating in a puddle. She had to bottle feed you and even took you to work so you could have a chance. Momma wasn't too keen on mice, she about freaked out when you brought her one while she was asleep. Daddy said that was funny, And that day you tried to help Daddy eat his frozen raspberry thing, Momma thought she was gonna pop laughing because Daddy was upset when he couldn't lift his arm. He looked shocked that she laughed at him until she told him he was fine except for the 16 pound cat attached to his raspberry pop."
Dracula got a soft look in his eyes and Soot knew that could only mean he was thinking about Littlebit. "It is so nice to see Littlebit healthy and happy, Momma and Daddy fought so hard for her, and she did prove those doctors who said she likely would never see her first birthday wrong. She came here after fifteen and a half years. She may be healed now, but she still thinks she is a pampered princess. Momma and her doctors always were amazed that no matter how sick she was she could chow down like a champ, and oh how she loved catnip."
Soot looked at Dracula in amusement, "Could? Loved? Poot, I passed her on my way here and she had a huge bowl of food and was rolling in a pile of nip the size of a king-size bed!" Dracula just smiled at the thought of his little sister playing without a care. She knew he would always protect her.
Dracula started in, "Baby was a hard loss for both Momma and Daddy, he was still so young and so mischievous and would go up the inside of Daddy's desk and sleep in the drawers. And he could sure tear up that circle thing with the ball in it, he even caught a mouse - not that Momma was happy about that. When he slipped out Momma was sick and they figured he would be back, but he was too young to understand about the road and cars, "
Soot looked at Dracula, "Do you remember Ladybug? She was kind of a mystery, just showed up and stayed off and on for quite a while, then continued on her journey. She had definitely had a human at some point or maybe she still did because she loved lap time, and was really partial to Daddy."
Dracula continued, "Momma called Wink, Blink, and Nod the wood pile babies, Wink was the only one of the 3 to ever become at all friendly. She saw them when they first came out of the wood pile and it reminded her of a poem from when she was a little girl. They didn't care about names as long as Momma fed them."
Dracula chuckled and continued, "Momma always said Button, Star, Skittles, and Prixie were a special delivery from Wink. She was too young and too small to care for 4 large babies and she was actually starving trying to feed them, so she literally dropped them off, each one a bit farther from the back door, as her strength gave out. Prixie was adopted out as soon as she was old enough but the rest stayed. They were so different it was hard to believe they were litter mates. Button was so very quiet and all she wanted was a soft lap, Star was super silly, and Skittles, well Momma always said he was super independent and hated any kind of change and he was a Momma's boy."
Dracula looked into the distance at an orange kitty Momma had rescued who was also their brother. "L Obie was a slightly different rescue - he wasn't from the yard as most of us were. Momma and Daddy spotted him at the park one morning when they stopped by the river overlook to have breakfast. They thought they had startled him when Daddy went to the railing. He looked so pitiful, all skin and bones So Momma broke her biscuit up for him then tried to move slowly away so he could eat without being afraid but he followed her, he kept looking back at the biscuit because he was really hungry, but he wanted to be with people even more than he wanted food. Daddy said leave him when they left the park, but he let her go back later saying he could join the backyard pride. When she got him home Daddy had changed his mind and he became part of the indoor furball gang. I felt so bad when we learned his leg was broken too bad to fix and it likely got broke when he was tossed from a car. He never did get comfortable with the idea of cars. Oh but he did keep too much rough-housing down."
Soot mused aloud, "I missed seeing Gilligan, Mary Ann, and Professor grow up, they got adopted by a lady Momma worked with - she wanted Ginger too but she did not want to be caught. Momma said the lady let her son be their person and since he was just a teen he taught them how to really be teenagers."
Dracula began wondering aloud, "The ones Momma rescued the Spring the dogs were killing in our yard got a rough start and with so many it was a challenge. Aces and Spot left when they were still very young because they were adopted by a nice young couple so all Momma ever saw was their innocent kitten love for everyone, Same too with Spitfire and Flower. I wonder if they remember Momma - they were all so little when they got adopted. They say they do because she found them each a wonderful human to own."
Soot chimed in, "Momma always said Diamond Mask was their perpetual teenager. Remember how she would get on the cornice behind the lamp (and she knew she was not supposed to get there) and chatter at Momma and Daddy when they would tell her to get down? It was good Pearl never tried that, as clumsy as he was he likely would have broken things, including his neck. But he is a big lovable goof and everyone loved him. And Liz was so quiet you could easily not know she was in the room, a very prim and proper little lady. Marbles and Punky look so much alike being torties, but ohhhh how different they are. Have you noticed Marbles STILL thinks it is her way or not at all - just so tortie of her. Marbles has always been the demanding one, when she wanted petted she would run just ahead of Momma and jump up on whatever elevated spot put her at petting height. Meanwhile, Punky is all hugs and and snuggles and love, but never demanded anything. And Opal . . . she was all feed me and such but don't even think about touching me until the end, She told me recently she wishes she had known how good petings and lovings felt sooner."
Dracula looked at Soot, "That same time frame was when Momma caught Maynard. She was trying to catch all of the little ones that would not know to run from the dogs. At first she thought he was just a new member of the Backyard Pride, but he actually seemed to be happy to be trapped with a human talking to him and she went and got Daddy to look. She said his nose was all gooey and she figured he had a really bad cold, but the vet said he didn't and that he had a badly infected broken nose, The vet who fixed it said it was more than his nose and that the bones were crushed. By the time he was all healed he was one of us He still won't talk about what happened but the vet said likely he was tossed from a car and hit a 4 X 4 mailbox post. Man, could he talk! He still loves people and is still a chatterbox."
Soot looked over at his quiet silver tabby brother, Little White Feet, playing with a brightly colored butterfly. “Sparky never did make a lot of noise, and he's still soooo quiet. Not sure why Momma nick-named him Sparky, but I like it better than Little white feet. Do you remember when he first stumbled into the back yard? He was so clumsy and kept falling down and Momma thought he had been poisoned. She wanted to rescue him right then but Daddy wouldn't let her till she got a coat and shoes on – by then he had hidden. But Daddy knew Momma had something he called 'the flu' and he was firm. Momma looked for Sparky for several days figuring he likely did not make it if he was poisoned. But he showed back up and was fine except for wanting inside. Our vet said he just had a noggin knock and a busted tooth, likely from being tossed from a car. He became one of us so easily . . . “
Dracula looked over at the Three Musketeers and smiled, “When they arrived Spud and Fuzzy seemed to fit right in. Spud was a bit older but he still thought he was a kitten and was a mischief maker, but he fit right in with the younger ones because of that and he did eventually grow up and became a snuggler, and all Fuzzy really wanted was a soft lap. Kung Pau was a problem and gave me fits. Still it was sad when he left so young because he had a bad heart no one knew about.”
Soot grinned at his big brother, “Kung Pau was really not so bad – you two just didn't hit it off because you both wanted to be boss.”
Soot looked across the pond, "Boogie was a special challenge. After that car hit him and left him and the other people brought him to Momma and Daddy he was totally helpless, couldn't even lift his head. But he learned to trust and love in those early months when they had to do everything for him. I bet if Momma had understood the ugly things he was saying when she had to bath him she would have washed his mouth out too. It took a long time and a lot of love but he did get better even if he did always walk like he was drunk. Momma would be so happy to see how graceful he is now. Never seen a cat play fight like he did though, he cheated. Just because he was so clumsy and so much bigger did not mean he should lay on us until we submitted."
Dracula thought about all of the ones in the Backyard Pride who had always kept a distance, those with names from Momma or Daddy and those without. There were so many. There were Moe, Larry, Shep, and Curly, there were Kit and Caboodel, there were Coco and Mocco, there were Patches and Midnight, there were Big Boy, Cloud, Bootsy, Magic, Peaches, Boots. Puff, Stripe, Tabby, Fuzzy Britches, Rerun, Misty, Blackie, Teetoo, Mystique, Bat Ears, Calli, Tuxie, Funny Face, Mittens, Bebe, Tessy, Tiger, CO, CB, Brighty, Champagne, Tiny, Tootsie, Butterscotch, Cream, Tippy, Bad Ear, Bubbles, Little No Name, and so many with no name from a human. They all know Momma and Daddy did their best and realize now that they could have trusted them, but they say even so they had a better life because of them, Sad Eyes says he was glad Momma found him another human to own when his people moved and left him behind, and Snip and Spooky remember Momma and the vets fighting so hard to save them so they could have a human and are glad they were able to come here having known gentle hands and love.
And he thought about those Momma had called the Angel Pack, The dogs who had owned her niece before they got so sick because her ex had refused to let her get them their shots. And the ones that had survived, her ex dumped at a pound that had sent them here. Even though they didn't own Momma it had broke her heart and they loved her for loving them and for caring. And little Bug Parts that her sister had rescued and tried so hard to save with Momma's help, he was just too young but he knew Momma and her sister cared and he loved them for that.
As the sun set and bathed the sky in warm beautiful colors Soot turned to his big brother, "Do you think the memories will help? Did we help her feel less sad?" Soot looked back to the reflecting pond wishing he could giver her memories of the people that had been lost too and feeling he needed to do more.
Dracula laid his head across Soot's shoulders to comfort him. "Reach out now little brother, she is calmer and her heart hurts less. She remembers the love now, not just the loss, and that gives her peace." The two brothers turned back to the pond and sat watching Momma and sending their love.
(c) Candace