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I belong with you, you know?
Even though
Apparently
You don't belong with me

Is so easy for everyone else to see
This big stupid grin I can't erase
Everytime I see your face
So illusion of my own distaste
For some mistake that I can't escape

Some epic failed grandstanding aspiration
For a narcissistic impersonation
Of my own disregarded elation
And the place I just can't reach

Deep down inside
Or so very far away
I can't help but feel ashamed
Even though there is no blame

Some instrinsic notion surrounding what I am becoming
And the past the molds the future that may be coming
I still always feel like I should still be running
To somewhere that I can never be

Some essence remains of my own reciprocity
Somewhere deep in the darkest recesses within
And somehow, I always seem to follow that same lonely road
To where the night leads me

And akin to what I used to be
Is some semblance of the man I once was
But somewhere along this journey called life
I lost what it was that made me someone I enjoyed being

I let the hate, and the pain, and the misery
Determine what I am to be
And I'm trying hard, and fighting
To let the mistakes make me better
But in all my struggling to break free
I find that I am only delaying
The eventual inevitablity
That I am nothing more than my idiosynchrasies

The past and the future collide
Today meets tomorrow in flames
And I can't help but wonder
Who or what is really to blame

Am I nothing more than my mistakes
Or am I just less than I wanted to be?
When determining all of these things
Why can't I just look beyond the pain?

I need to escape, for a while at least
I've got things to forget
Things to learn
New things to reach
I cannot afford the distraction right now
I just need to change into a better me