There was a king whose name was Rex
Who substituted cigarettes for sex
The only attention he could get
Was from a smoking cigarette
He worked hard all his life
As was expected from his wife
But the only thanks that he could get
Was from his friendly cigarette
Whose smoke curled into the air
And never judged or cried "unfair"
His kids would go outside and play
And his wife would go to work all day
He went to school and tried to write
And often stayed awake at night
For all his efforts at success
He felt his life was still a mess
All his efforts to fit a mold
Only made the great king old
The only success that he could get
Was finishing a cigarette
Sex no longer interested his wife
His kids were busy with their life
She would come home and watch TV
And sleep on the couch 'til two or three
How lonely the great king would get
So he would smoke a cigarette
Even the dog in this king's life
Got more attention from his wife
The kids would go and play outside
No one cared if he lived or died
After twenty years of abstinence
To smoke again just made good sense
After all if no one really cared
About how well the great king fared
If some of his problems to forget
The king lit up a cigarette
So from then on with every breath
The great king smoked himself to death