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I went to a job interview after a bird shit in my hair.

Shit was all over the top of my head and I didn't know it was there.

I wondered why the people were laughing when I went to the job interview.

I didn't get the job because my hair was covered with poo.

Nobody told me that I had shit in my hair so I went like that on a date.

Needless to say it didn't go so great.

She didn't want a second date, that couldn't be more clearer.

I pissed all over myself when I got home and looked in a mirror.

I got really mad and I had a fit.

I've washed my hair five times and it still smells like shit.