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When my uncle bought me a gift, it was something I had to bury.

When I opened his Christmas present, I received a dead canary.

He put it in a cage and wrapped it on the first day of December.

Feeding and watering it was what the idiot failed to remember.

Cussing and yelling was what my neighbors heard.

When I receive a present, I don't want a dead bird.

When I yelled and cussed, my uncle said that I wasn't showing gratitude.

But when I receive a dead pet for a present, it tends to put me in a bad mood.

My uncle is so dumb that I'm ashamed to admit that we're related.

He was actually surprised when his present was something I hated.

My uncle would win the Nobel Prize if the prize could be for people who are dumb.

He actually suggested that I take the dead bird to the pet store and ask for a refund.

When it comes to dealing with my uncle, my patience is wearing thin.

And I don't ever want to receive a Christmas present from him again.