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1/13/'02

I can remember when we used to talk on the phone all until into
late
in the
night
I can remember us planning on it everynight, or every other night,
always our quota, but there was always my love
we’d plan, after my shower,
before or after homework; timing it, sometimes rushing

...and how no one quite equaled you or even my next,
he was a basis for comparison against you, and he for others, so
therefore
you...
you truly were the most innocent and pure eye-opening and
deceiving,
loving
and taking
beautiful and young relationship I ever had
though it seemed so old at the time
I remember jelly beans and pretty bunnies, I remember Bjork and all
the movies,
I don’t remember ever thanking you or telling you I was glad,
that I was okay
I don’t remember us becoming friends in the end
or maybe its not over //
I can remember us talking on the phone all into until late at night
I can remember you said things to me you might never have said to
anyone
and I to you, at that time
I can remember the night I said I wanted to go, was too tired to
stay up this late
when you had class at noon and I, high school at 7
I remember the hurt, so unlike you
and how you said, "you never used to want to get off the phone"
implying the magic was over or something
and how it definitely wasn’t, but I was not able to say
and how, regardless of that night, we ultimately came to our demise
I can remember the-dentist-the-next-day; and you sleeping with
your black shirt,
because I had kept it in bed for the days when it was at my house
you wore it to be near me
I remember being obsessed with you, before you were even gone
I remember a lost innocence
behind music; under the sun coming up
and swapping poems on the phone
I remember valentine’s day, and our stories of it that night
after spending the whole day apart
but I don’t remember ever thanking you or telling you I was
grateful,
that I was alright
I can’t remember us becoming friends
but maybe this isn’t the end