Night smoke choked the jagged city
Skyscrapers groaned like ships melting in napalm
And fires flared with apocalyptic roars
As burning floors collapsed
And blew out the windows
fireballs like giant phoenices
Taking flaming flight
The smoke caught an orange haze
Smoke columns like coal-black giants rising
With great clubs on their shoulders
And the city was quiet
Aside from the roar of flames
Cars abandoned in the never-ending dead wind
But no bodies, no survivors
No strangers, no kin
Only ash falling like filthy snow
At the end of the world
Alone there, I walked, horrified
Powerless
My face painted orange in the flames
The glister of crimson in my eyes
And glinting my lower lip
Nearby, a building collapsed and sent a shockwave
Of ash
I raised my hands and and cried out
As a gray-black ocean rushed over me
Blinded me
And when it settled
Hanging heavy like dust motes in the air
I was baptized in the ash
And when I could see
I stood there
Looking at my arms
My hands
That's when I wept
And cried out for help
Not because my city was dying
Not because my home was burning
Just because I was dirty and scared
And alone
With hypnotic energy, you
With hypnotic energy, you spun me into a fury of destruction and transformation. As the realm you breathed life into with dazzling imagery, crumbled in flame, you conjured a mysterious calm, the absence of life, except for the speaker “baptized in the ash”.
Such delightfully dark intrigue. Expecting a culmination of apocalyptic drama, you showed yourself to be a shrewd and exceptional poet with an abrupt psychological twist: a far more thoughtful, traumatic and identifiable response to tragedy.
Your last stanza hovered and stung like smoke over a lifeless world. The word "alone" still echoes.
A stunning achievement! Huge respect.
Frost-Mage myself but...
This is incredibly powerful. The way you guided me to that ending and left it there. Awesome.
Thanks! I like a good
Thanks! I like a good ambiguous ending. I think it helps the emotion linger.