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You need to Relax
Here I am standing on the edge of recklessness.
This is not me.
Do I know myself any longer?
Did I ever know what I was really like?
Did I want to?
I used to hate not being in control of myself,
My every thought, especially the thoughts I shared with others.
Why then do I feel the need to stop thinking before I act or speak?
Out of control!
I can't let the qualities that are desirable in without feeling the pain of wanting.
Do I know what I want?
Yes!!!
Is she what I want?
The fantasy that her existence feeds perpetuates my illusion of happiness.
How far and fast am I going to go?
Until I crash and scare her off with my manic ramblings?
No, she, or at least the person I hope she is, is worth too much to let unchecked emotions
brought on by the sensory overload of long suppressed consciences escaping my bosom,
destroy the chance of her/us taking the next step.
Slow down.
You need to relax.
The thoughts materializing before me as I look at these words are more me than the me I knew.
This stuff is too heavy.
You need to relax!
She is not the one living in an unrequited reality.
This is not real. It's only in my mind.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Until she takes the next step with me it remains desire on my part.
On the day she wants some or all of the things I want, and wants them with me,
(slow down, you need to relax, breathe)
Then and only then can I consider what I feel to be real.
I can't make her want what I want.
True. She's not ready. Am I ready?
Definitely not!
Then why do I pester her?
Because sealing off my emotions is worst.
When my heart broke it only felt like I was going to die.
With my feelings and passion sealed up behind barriers that kept me from knowing myself.
Locked away so deep I forgot I was a feeling passionate being;
I was dying!!!
Now that I know I won't die, I can show a side of myself few have ever seen.
Is this so important?
It's important to at least try. It's worth the risk of pain.
Then we, she and I will know for sure.
You need to relax.
I know, but I can't.
Interesting piece of poetry. I like it the anticipations wanting to get to know that person. Thinking about how to make the move and when. I really liked this. And your comment was very informative. Because women do have this distored veiw about men. Sometimes we forget the hurt and feel pain just like us but different. Nice piece.
Howard ...I'm gonna keep lookin' for your new stuff....I just read every single poem you've posted, and the heart you share....is talented, to say the least...and romantic, to my joy!!! Boy, you sure write purdy.
Any woman who thinks that a man finds it easier to start again, has been living under a rock. This was well said. I truly enjoyed this piece. Amy
Gentle is the night♥
Excellent!! Great stuff! Nice job!
howard, great, i like your writing. please give me more. bye teresa jacobs
Good Lord this is fantastic. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed the way you wrote this. How wonderful!!! Michelle
Ever hear of the spontaneous art form where the artist goes into a trance, takes his body and creates his piece and become one with his art itself? it's something that you should give a try. in this poem you mananged to incoporate your thoughts into a parallel poem. it's great how you keep it parallel in the form of a question answer/comment way. i don't mean the exact format as in line by line AB AB but the rythm and the gradual progression of your thoughts. i hope you find the answer that you're seeking... ...also, love is something that you can't be played safe... ...love is spontaneous, like your piece. if you want something safe, seek a friendship... ...one can never have too many friends.