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ATTEMPTING ASCETICISM

 

So kiss your hand, and wave,

And pray unto nurturing skies

Your soft, slow goodbyes,

Sighed sublime

In pinewood rhymes,

As I trod away upon

These distant dream patterns of mine

With dreary march...

 

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last updated 20 March 2023 - 8:42pm
©25 January 2023 - 7:34pm — Pungus
29 January 2023 - 4:52am — patriciajj
patriciajj's picture

I was completely transfixed

I was completely transfixed by the floating, atmospheric movement of this spellbinding expression with its "soft, slow goodbyes" that glided with ethereal grace into a mist of pulsing sorrow and a desire for oblivion. Written with astonishing poignancy and immersive power, it absolutely compelled me to read it again.

 

Applauding the word mage!  

 
26 January 2023 - 2:09am — redbrick
redbrick's picture

And that trodding away shall

And that trodding away shall progress from dreary to solemn to sublime!

here is poetry that doesn't always conform

galateus, arkayye, arqios,arquious, crypticbard, excalibard, wordweaver

26 January 2023 - 12:15am — lyrycsyntyme
lyrycsyntyme's picture

Powerful mood shift

I didn't anticipate the suggestion of a distanceless, soulful connection, albeit in a bittersweet moment, to shift into such a lonely drag through a fog. From gentle to heavy, and very well written.

 

Detachment may reduce sadness, but also all but eliminates joy. I hope you will reattach yourself, despite the difficulties life surely does offer.