The Last

The clouds were so beautiful.  I remember the feeling, getting lost within them.  It was like a dream; only, I never really woke up.  I remember my sister.  She was wearing a blue dress that day, with white flowers.  I miss the way she laughed, it was infectious.  Her smile would light up a room.  She was my best friend; my only friend.  I was whole when I was with her.  I wish, not that she would want me to, that we could have lived that day forever.  It’s not that she wouldn’t have loved it, rather, she believed that without letting things pass, we could never be able to look back and smile.  She loved to smile; we both did.  I can still hear the echo of her voice.  She would say to me, “I feel alive today Matty. Will you live with me?” I passed it off as Nicole being Nicole, but I realize now, how much that one sentence meant.  Yes, I will live with you Nicole. I will live.


The worst part about that day wasn’t the funeral, or the relatives giving their condolences, but when I was sitting on the front porch of our childhood home.  It looked out over a field of corn, and whenever it hit that perfect time of day, when the sun was saying its last goodbyes and the sky turned to shades of red and orange, she and I would sit and wave goodbye to the sun. We would watch as the last bit of light crept over the horizon, and was lost to the fading dark of night.  The worst part of that day was knowing the sun would have one less smile to shine on.  I sat there that night, it had been cloudy, but just as the sun made its way to the horizon, the clouds broke, and the all too familiar face of an old friend shone back at me.  That was the last time I sat on that porch, our last goodbye.


As I walked through that house, everything reminded me of our lives under that roof  Beyond the pictures that clung to the walls, and sat on the end tables,  there was the wall where we measured our heights.  She may have been two years younger than me, but she was a fast grower.  By the time she had hit 12, she was almost as tall as I was. And as she always did after, she wrote what she was feeling at that moment.  The first one was at age five which read, I lov momy and dady and matty.  I saw that and couldn’t help but smile, as I wiped the tear that rolled down my cheek.  The last one was at age 16, she wrote, I’m sad because Matty is leaving for college tomorrow.  I remember the day I left, she wrapped her arms around me, and refused to let go until I promised that I was going to come back.  As I drove away, I saw her puffy red face still wet with tears.  I tried to stay strong for her at that moment, but once I was out of sight of the house, I let the tears flow.  I loved her so much. She was my world. I got a call two weeks after I had left; Nicole was in the hospital.  I rushed home, and as I walked into the doorway of her room, our eyes met.  She gave me a smile, and closed her eyes for the last time.

Morningglory's picture

Awe. So sweet and sad the

Awe. So sweet and sad the story... I loved the writing, kept me reading all the way. May she be resting in peace...

Copyright © morningglory

ProductofFate's picture

Thank you

Thank you, I appreciate that. Smile

allets's picture

The Heart Is Heavy

For the loss of one so young and vibrant and so loved. God keep her - Lady A