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Eternal Compersion
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DaddyO's BDSM by DaddyO
Note to self: Be careful about giving your heart to people who like to play casually. When things end they will continue playing casually with everyone but you.
Multi-partnered sex is something I have done pretty regularly since joining the kink community.
I propose that to be considered a "primary sexual partner" both partners must agree the commitment shared is loving, predominantly sexually and both are able to define and distinguish a specific uniqueness for the relationship.
For someone such as I, who enjoys control as much as sharing, as well as for the slut who enjoys multiple partnered experiences, it was common for us to participate in group sexual activities (generally gang bangs) and to participate in play scenes with different partners.
The slut in the partnership will generally be the one experiencing more sexual play, simply because she is not only more desirable, but her sluttiness ensures a never ending parade of partners. Personally, the joy I get in controlling a partner in the sexual arena or in a gang bang, more than makes up for the obvious lack of direct sexual activity of my own.
I used to pride myself as a slut-maker, but sadly, I think I have been more of a slut enabler.
Why do I fetishize control? Because when I have control I feel like the happiest man on the planet. Everyone around us smiles, things get done and birds chirp. Yes, the illusion of bliss is magical.
When I don't have control (especially in a slutty situation) it is the opposite. The joy I used to feel is difficult to maintain. If I don't make a concerted effort to train and divert my thoughts, the situation becomes a host of other negative emotions including failure, embarrassment and insecurity.
I propose the thing to remember about choosing the life of a slut, while also being in a relationship, is to make sure you and your partner(s) are on the same page regarding what activities and attitudes constitute sex and what activities and attitudes constitute love. Then decide together if it is sex or if it is love that you are going to be open with in your relationship. Yes, it quite possibly could be both. If you are doing D/s, I additionally propose determining what activities and attitudes constitute the power exchange of control too.
In the context of a relationship, I believe it is important for all partners to be comfortable with whoever the other partners are fucking and loving. Though, as addressed in my Love is a Car Crash writing sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with. This is accomplished through communication and almost always through compromise.
Relationships change, evolve and devolve over time. Due to us having no agreement on a clear definition of what constituted a relationship, I chose to make the excruciating decision to end my most recent poly partnerships, despite my love for them continuing.
My personal emotional struggles and deep depression has escalating greatly since I made that decision that came down the night before Thanksgiving.
What makes things feel most like a knife tearing through my heart, is that both former partners of mine appear to have moved on gracefully and found new relationships. Sadly (for me), it appears they could more easily define to their new partners the definition of "relationship" and "commitment" than they could with me.
Perhaps the new relationship energy (NRE) they are sharing with their new partners has made it so the relationship question is moot right now. But hopefully, they have been able to come to an understanding with their new partners.
What I must accept, is that ultimately they didn't want to be in a relationship with DaddyO. Or at least didn't want DaddyO's version of a relationship.
This is why in future relationship endeavors, I will strive to find a partner who I can communicate with my relationship standards. I want both of us to not only be willing, but eager to compromise for the other.
It is gut wrenching when you have loving motives , and attempt to deepen your love for a person by negotiation and trying to come to a consensus regarding the definition of "relationship", only to find the triggers mounting up. Those triggers actually make you became less and less desirable to them with each attempt.
I still love them both, yet due to the severance of that damn invisible thing that I was unable to define, I am now unable to show that love in ways I previously did. With each passing day, as they fade into my memory, I fear I must demonstrate my love through eternal compersion.
"Slut" is a powerful word. But being a "slut" makes you an even more powerful person. You single-handedly have the power to bring intensely enjoyable and sometimes life-changing pleasure to countless people. With that immense power, it is vitally important to be responsible and calculated with not only who you are a slut with, but also why you carry out your sluttiness in the first place.
Hopefully this will help you understand why a Daddy who craves "power" and "control" wants to have a slut for a babygirl!
