Death? Bring it On!

by DaddyO

Here we are with the dark cloud of death once again permeating the lives of many friends around me and I think it's time for me to respond.


Hell, why not take on another unwinnable battle, DaddyO?


Death, and especially unexpected death, serves us as a reminder that we must celebrate the lives of everyone around! Not at a later time when death forces us, but at this very moment!


When I said "I will be the only one who really wants to be at my funeral who won't be there", I was being serious. Sure my lifeless corpse may lay in state, but the life that once brought joy and provocation to a community of kinksters, and the cognizance that what I am doing to make this world a better place will have vanished.


The overwhelming joys along with the devastating pains of life will cease.

The straight line on an EKG tape is a good visual metaphor. No more ups, no more downs. Billy Joel once wrote in the song "Summer Highland Falls" that his life is either "sadness or euphoria." So if the ups and the downs are over, why are those around us sad? I am not calling for euphoria (though there are some of my enemies who undoubtedly will be euphoric at my passing) but at life's end, let us attempt to subdue the sadness and continue onward. If you are reading this, your life has gone on.


The funeral, wake, memorial -whatever ya want to call it- is NOT the ONLY time to celebrate one's existence. If someone is important to us, EVERYDAY is that time.


So yes, a loved one's death always changes what is going on within the story of our life. In everyday life, if we are a good person, there will be just too many good people surrounding us to adequately convey the honor and gratitude due to them while they are alive and with us. After all, we are busy enjoying the very wonderfulness that we would be giving them accolades for, right? Nonetheless, we must strive to do this.


Death is a brutal exclamation point that stops us mid-sentence, punctuates and redirects our future paragraphs, but also sobers us to the realization of the importance of celebrating one's life with them, here and now, while they are still alive and with us.



Hedonism is a school of thought that argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good. In very simple terms, a hedonist strives to maximize net pleasure (pleasure minus pain). Ethical hedonism is the idea that all people have the right to do everything in their power to achieve the greatest amount of pleasure possible to them. It is also the idea that every person's pleasure should far surpass their amount of pain.


I am a hedonist, but my hedonism extends to to others. Pleasure may be the highest good, but I propose that ethical hedonism must also include the pleasuring of others along with it.


In our life's story, if we strive to make death a simple comma, it furthers our capacity to move forward ourselves in writing our own story.


When the harsh reality of death slaps us in the face it is a reminder that the only sequel is the one we reveal by passing on our loved one's legacy.


The magic of love and life is a true miracle made of indescribable words and phrases. The realness of death is the final page for our loved one. And, like any well bound book, usually two blank pages follow. Use these to create their epitaph and secure their legacy. It may not even be words you use.

Pictures, scribbles and even folds and tears might be apropos. Certainly you've heard the phrase "everyone grieves differently." Just remember when doing so, to uplift the world around you with your tribute.


Sometimes a real evil asshole will leave our midst. We share in the responsibility to celebrate the end to their archetype too, Study them as intently. Do not celebrate their lives but celebrate instead the transition of our present culture to a more enlightened understanding. Celebrate the positive assertion of pleasure the entire world experiences because of their demise.

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