Author Information
"I Can't"
Folder:
Hillbilly Smiles by Jeph Johnson
I can't walk with pride
I can't hold my head up high
I can no longer dream without tears falling from my eyes
I can't put my fingertips
When we're dancin' on your hips
I can no longer taste sweet chocolate mint from smiling lips
I can't write in our book
I can't compliment the cook
Never again receive from big green eyes that special look
I can't call you on the phone
My voice would chill you to the bone
I don't see how our love died and left me all alone
I can't go to the bars
I might hear "Keeper of the Stars"
Never learned which one of us was from Venus and/or Mars
If it's a phase I'm goin' through
I wish I'd stop feelin' so blue
But nowhere in my life will I find another you
With the love I had for you
I don't know what I'm going to do
Wonderin' both night and day just who to give it to
When I reach out for someone
My heart is on the run
Runnin' back to where you were, but finding there no one
I don't usually go for this kind of thing... normally I wouldn't even have read past the first stanza or rhymed word pattern.
But there is something about your sentiment and way of expressing yourself that I found interesting enough to read through to the end. Im glad that I did.
I would (in the future) like to see the you that comes and falls to the page unedited and less sing song. More raw and less forced into a mold of what you feel is expected of you as far as readable poetry goes. (and I assume in your life as well?)
What you learn in school... very seldom get's you through life unscathed. Drop the pretense and write completely from the soul and you can become a beautiful writer.
The tudors court of pomp and circumstance was erected by those who could write in metered perfection, to seperate themselves from everyone else, which does merit a certain air of respect and reverence, but we all often lose our talent and voice in our attempts at trying to force our souls into a mold of words that was meant for someone else.
I personally feel there is no soul to most of the metered poets.
You could do much better if you tried a little less.
You tell the truth about that. Once you lose them they never come back and it sucks.
Seriously, this is an amazing poem! The emotions in it are so exact. The words bleed out pain of losing a loved one. It's simply amazing.
This was so sad its makeing me
cry I am going through this now.
i really felt the emotion and experience, especially as it got deeper into the poem. in some areas i felt i could personally relate, too, which made it all the better..but its good to experience someone elses experience as well-i just wish for you that it is all the better for you now.
That was a very good poem. Heartfelt pain for a lost love. Explained so sincere. Express so clear.
So sad yet beautiful