Emotional wreck
Spiritually failed again
Making myself forget
All of this pain
Never feel again
Each time I feel
Numb it with pain
My emotions aren’t real
Beat me to death
Close my eyes
One last time
Muffle my last cries
Screaming inside
Quietly mutter the words
This pain that I hide
Is my own surreal curse
Awaken in the midst of everything
No one knows what I hide
No one suspects a thing
No one knows I lied
I’m fine, I’m up and alert
I’m great, I’m okay
No, my feelings weren’t hurt
I fib out these words I say
Smiling sweetly, pretending I care
You think I love you, but I don’t
There’s no emotions there
I can’t feel anything so I won’t
Blood on the blade of the knife
I use to cut my pain out of my life
5 crosses, 2 hearts and a rose
I bled my emotions comatose
Don’t call to say you love me
You, nor anyone else ever did
I have pain you can’t possibly see
Because it’s numb where it hid
You say you’re sorry everyday
Well I’m sorry I looked your way
Prove to me that you love me like you claim
You can’t, cuz like everyone, you’re just the same
If I keep writing I can drown myself
In a pool of emotions and mindless thoughts
Hide my heart on the highest shelf
Where it will never be caught
I have too much baggage with me
And I’ve yet to claim it all
It’s too much for me to carry
I’d pick it up, but then I’d fall
Cross that blade over my wounds
Once again, I crave to draw the blood
My body’s marked up by things I do
In an attempt to numb the love