Author Information
Perforate
With cauldron awick,
Alas chanced trick.
For away there alone,
To measure not roam.
For penny it had delivered,
With merit of choice.
For cuisined the memory,
Now aloof it to prove.
Heralded the loss,
Silent the powers,
As beaten brow may sweat,
Beaten brow may browse.
How's tricks and a penny for your thoughts...hmmm i'm feeling slightly brow beaten my self, that is nothing gnu ...
The name fitting with the poem? Perhaps if you explain. My advice to you is to take every two lines and use them as base for expanded verse, and explain so the audience can follow. You seem to have an innate (?) sense of rhythm and what sounds good. You need to remember that the audience is not you and cannot read your mind. -- Alex
I liked the form and the rhythmn -almost like the beat of a drum . i sensed that there is deep feeling behind those words. I confess that I probably did not understand the words well enough to comprehend the message.
Don't listen to idiots who can't even make a valid suggestion and who are afraid to post their email address. I'm probably going to be making a revision to the critique code so as to allow the author's of each poem to remove critiques that are irrelevant to the poem. OH, and I like this poem by the way!
Here's a suggested revision: Throw it in the trash.