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A MISCARRIAGE OF REALITY
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JOURNAL #29 we lost the house
yet it felt like we lost a child
(at least to me)
my husband appeared little fazed
in those darkest hours
the future seemed so scarred
and defeated
from the skewed viewpoint
for which I alone owned
in that crumbling instant
destroyed now was
the idealistic snapshot
in my mind
of our first home
until all that remained
was a numbing puddle of quiet resignation
though the fact even in the very painful end
stood just as it ever was
a tangible constant same
I was looking at what had happened all wrong
on the surface we lost the house
but logic finally stepped in to remind me
the same house that never at any one point
was really ours
except for the dream of our living in it
in my heart
everything else essentially was the same
actually even better
we came out victorious in our defeat
a truly informed couple
about the realities of real estate
How I admired my husband in those days
(still do)
for he said
words my heart can never forget
our tomorrow is still yet touched
and there waiting for us to create
so this was not some great loss
but rather
an improvised fate
Melissa
(written Jan 17 2004 140am)
"we lost the house
yet it felt like we lost a child"
I know well what it means to lose. I have lost in many times… I don’t give up yet I keep losing. One night I was so drunk and I felt like talking to somebody. I logged into my yahoo messenger hoping to enjoy a good chat. To my surprise I got a message from a dear friend asking me to add her to my friends list (she was and is a good writer too). Then I hit a button in order to accept her request. But since I was so drunk I fell asleep on my desk. Next night I logged into my yahoo messenger again and I went through my friends list but I didn’t find my poetess friend. I felt so bad and still I feel …I endure the pain of losing a good friend. But your poem made me feel better.
I just want you to know that I think you are a great and sensitive mind. I love the way you write.