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GREEN WATERS TURNED GRAY (M.A.K.)
Folder:
JOURNAL #28
green waters turned gray
my eyes when crying
across your crumpled memory
green waters turned gray
without a care
who sees
why
I've always felt just this way
about you.......
(writ May 12,200310am)
This poem is really good as it stands. However I think it would be even stronger if you were to leave the last line off. I like a lot of your poems. Keep up the good work.