"No matter what you say or do
I may not ever forgive you
for pain you caused along the way
for all the prices I did pay
for every time I was mislead
the pain I felt is on your head."
These words were written yesterday
but painful they are still
of all this bullshit I do see
I've quickly had my fill.
I'm angry though I can not scream
because your gone from view
and even if those words did come
you won't see them as true.
The blame that's yours is put on me
it's easier that way
you'd rather have my heart in shreads
when our love starts to fray.
And now the strings are pulled apart
my tears it's stone grey dye
it hurt's to see that you'd do this
even if it is a lie.
But I have never given up
as you just simply do
if I did ever break your heart
I surely never knew.
Just know this isn't over
I will never let you fly
you will regret that painful day
when you just had to lie.
Your choice of words seem very awkward, the word order makes you seem sort of detatched, which I think contradicts what you would have intended for the poem, to be a very personal and important issue in your life. But thats just how I see it, the last two lines are heartbreaking on many levels though. Overall, it was great. Keep up the good work!
Damn, good stuff Nikki.
"you'd rather have my heart in shreads
when our love starts to fray.
And now the strings are pulled apart
my tears it's stone grey dye"
Those lines were awesome.
ahhhhhh
i love the last stanza
hehe haza
but the rest is kinda meh
ash
Much Love
Ashley
omg..its so so and soooo inspiring piece...love the way you did it.. perfect..a dnagr with your idea too... greatttt