I feel like I've dipped
into the most vial parts of me
I don't appreciate who
I've presented myself to be
am I really untrustworthy?
am I really tactless?
am I really so insensitive?
my answers seem to be yes
unfortunately
who am I?
how am I to overcome
this disgusting side of me
I don't like her... I judge her
this giant ego
that takes over reactively
blinding me so I can't see the truth
when it's standing right in front of me
Ego writes this now
to degrade me
and I allow it
to come crashing in on me
I feel sick
I am sick
stricken with the worst kind of pain
tortured...
I think I know what it feels like to be
and it's awful
no one should ever be
subjected to such misery
yet I've endured it
knowing that I deserve it
allowing that kind of behavior
that I don't respect in others
so why do I give myself a free pass?
perhaps I don't
no...
I became ill
severely ill
and I don't believe
it was just food poisoning