Stricken

 

 

I feel like I've dipped

into the most vial parts of me

I don't appreciate who 

I've presented myself to be

 

am I really untrustworthy?

am I really tactless?

am I really so insensitive?

my answers seem to be yes

 

unfortunately

 

who am I?

how am I to overcome 

this disgusting side of me

I don't like her... I judge her

 

this giant ego

that takes over reactively

blinding me so I can't see the truth 

when it's standing right in front of me

 

Ego writes this now 

to degrade me

and I allow it

to come crashing in on me

 

I feel sick

I am sick

 

stricken with the worst kind of pain

tortured...

I think I know what it feels like to be

and it's awful

 

no one should ever be 

subjected to such misery

yet I've endured it 

knowing that I deserve it

 

allowing that kind of behavior

that I don't respect in others

so why do I give myself a free pass?

 

perhaps I don't 

no...

I became ill

severely ill

 

and I don't believe 

it was just food poisoning

 

 

 

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