Author Information
Blah
What if we opened up
Cracked up wide
Flowing verses
Flying by
Creating a world
Of wonder as we spit out
Rainbows of color
Across the skies
As we all lied
Waking
What if we opened up
Cracked up wide
Flowing verses
Flying by
Creating a world
Of wonder as we spit out
Rainbows of color
Across the skies
As we all lied
Waking
Rappers "Spit"
fyi. I liked the air in this poem, the free wheeling let it flow out fast creating contentment. I lay awake thinking about the list of things to do tomorrow, but when I write - it flows from my void into the air just like you said. ~Lady A~
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Me and the void need to rekindle our relationship.
Copyright © JessterStarshine
nice
Spit out rainbows flying verses lied waking all good lines nice
Thanks
I should probably come up with a better title but blah. Lol
Copyright © JessterStarshine
Title Change?
Depends. Blah becasue you think its a trite sentiment, yet people respond to it positively. So what's your intent? A positive Hallmark poem or a disgruntled poet? Either works. Though Lied waking makes me feel more disgruntled with rainbow flying poetry...Try posting same poem with a different title and see? Could be fun. I still like the poem.
Debbie
Thanks Debbie!!
I never go back and edit. Tried that once and went completely bonkers psychotic episode and destroyed like 3000 poems. Maybe 4000. Lol. Not going down that road again. Blah. Well that Was the truth of the moment in the writing. Disgruntled poet has been me for a time. So. Here it stands. Blah! I am spitting rainbows.
Appreciate the comment and feedback! :-)
Copyright © JessterStarshine
Cautionary tale
A cautionary tale against edits and rewrites. I tend to leave alone as well, except when an editor gets hold of it. Then it balloons. So I’d say to your question maybe I should change the title. No. Who wants a hallmark inspiration when you can spit rainbows.
You're awesome
This comment totally made me laugh out loud. Thank you!
Copyright © JessterStarshine
I Am Rewriting 5000+ Posts
Half away done and feeling great about the revisions. Little things picked up after being away from it - made consistent imagery, tenses, sounds, adding textures or colors. The bad ones I either rewrite entirely or delete. "spitting rainbows" has captured everone's imagination and we are floating in those clouds - Spitting Rainbows would be a great title. Balance and fusion of writer's mood to text equals a title.
Well said
balance of mood to text. I try to squeeze another idea in the title.
Thanks ladies!
Blah probably drew y'all in in the first place. ;) I'm just gonna leave it. Maybe write Spitting Rainbows later.
Copyright © JessterStarshine