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I walked back into the dark

letting the light fade

with each pace.



It was changing me

into who I always wanted to be

but was to afraid to become

and it scared me.



I sold my soul

for six months of silence;

I gave up everything

that made me feel alive.



I’ve lost all desire

to speak,

to function,

to even breathe.



But the smile stays on my lips,

frozen by regret.



I don’t think I’ll ever change;

I’ve been like this forever

but it used to be easier.



Now I barely move forward

without falling back

into what I’ve always known.



No one understands

so I don’t bother saying anything.

They can’t hear me either way.



I have conversations with myself-

long-winded and recurring-

and it only makes this feeling

of utter loneliness more palpable.



Why am I here

and how did I get here,

but more importantly,

where am I going?



This road sure doesn’t lead home

but home is not a destination,

it’s a feeling...



and I’ve become numb.

Rewrite 2012

I walked back into the dark
letting the light fade
with each pace.

It was changing me
into who I always wanted to be
but was to afraid to become.

I sold my soul
for six months of silence;
I gave up everything
that made me feel alive.

I’ve lost all desire
to speak,
to function,
to even breathe.

But the smile stays on my lips,
frozen by regret.
I don’t think I’ll ever change.

I’ve been like this forever,
but it used to be easier.

Now I barely move forward
without falling back
into what I’ve always known.

No one understands
so I don’t bother saying anything.

They can’t hear me either way.

I have conversations with myself-
long-winded and recurring-
and it only makes this feeling
of utter loneliness more palpable.

Why am I here,
and how did I get here?

But more importantly,
where am I going?

This road sure doesn’t lead home
yet home is not a destination,
it’s a feeling...

but I’ve become numb to everything.