I walked back into the dark
letting the light fade
with each pace.
It was changing me
into who I always wanted to be
but was to afraid to become
and it scared me.
I sold my soul
for six months of silence;
I gave up everything
that made me feel alive.
I’ve lost all desire
to speak,
to function,
to even breathe.
But the smile stays on my lips,
frozen by regret.
I don’t think I’ll ever change;
I’ve been like this forever
but it used to be easier.
Now I barely move forward
without falling back
into what I’ve always known.
No one understands
so I don’t bother saying anything.
They can’t hear me either way.
I have conversations with myself-
long-winded and recurring-
and it only makes this feeling
of utter loneliness more palpable.
Why am I here
and how did I get here,
but more importantly,
where am I going?
This road sure doesn’t lead home
but home is not a destination,
it’s a feeling...
and I’ve become numb.
Rewrite 2012
I walked back into the dark
letting the light fade
with each pace.
It was changing me
into who I always wanted to be
but was to afraid to become.
I sold my soul
for six months of silence;
I gave up everything
that made me feel alive.
I’ve lost all desire
to speak,
to function,
to even breathe.
But the smile stays on my lips,
frozen by regret.
I don’t think I’ll ever change.
I’ve been like this forever,
but it used to be easier.
Now I barely move forward
without falling back
into what I’ve always known.
No one understands
so I don’t bother saying anything.
They can’t hear me either way.
I have conversations with myself-
long-winded and recurring-
and it only makes this feeling
of utter loneliness more palpable.
Why am I here,
and how did I get here?
But more importantly,
where am I going?
This road sure doesn’t lead home
yet home is not a destination,
it’s a feeling...
but I’ve become numb to everything.