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 THE EYES OF TRUE.

 

“It was a sunny day, but every day was sunny, what was so special about that morning?”

 

                                       MARGOT.

 

 

      A fainted smile on his lips, he walks peacefully, towards, what he has been waiting for so long….

All this bodies, clusters against each others, almost erotic, almost incestuous!

Peoples pushing their ways out of the exit of the tube, like ants, searching for the honey, but the honey for Marlon has run empty…

He, yes, he knew it for a while, but absurdly, believe, he could, almost managed, to breathe without air!

Without love!

 

So today, in that sunny morning, he felt so free…

Everything has been well calculated it.

Or was it?

Maybe, not, after all, it has been a shamble of mistakes, crumbles, under the weight of the heavy dosage each days, of medications, sedated to the bones, so he might forget, what the meaning of love, really mean, and only writing about it, for his job, oh, yes his job!

Did I mention the fact that Marlon was one of the most successful writers of his generation, for TV soap?

Melodramatic, tragic, soapy to the bones, a child’s watching from the corners of their eyes, their mother’s tears.

While their father smoke oblivious, of the distress…

To what was a stupid TV series!

 

Plays, movies…all had managed to ripe a tear of their eyes, once upon a time!

And today, as age’s advances, nothing came anymore…

Few more beers…

More silence…

Was this love?

 

Marlon, knew, he had never really belongs to this worlds, from the day he has push it first scream!

While shocking on his vomit!

 

His eyes open late, somehow, refusing to see, the reality, of what was waiting for him, but what a sight!

When he finally did,

The most grey/blue ocean, of nostalgia, had opened the gates to flood this earth…

And him, with it!

 

So it should…

 

Days pass by; soon follow by months, replaced by years…

The same question arising?

How can one stop to hurt others?

While, leaving from his own accord, this blue planet?

There is no love, certainly, not the same, from where he belongs!

Oh, gosh, Marlon, we know….

How mush you miss these feelings!

 

Finally the exit show her face, peoples are running like hysterical ants, searching, if not, for the same exit then he is?

 

Or maybe for the same feeling then he is?

 

He walks under the sunny bright morning!

The hospital won’t be too busy…

This is the last attempts.

Dreaming of murder.

His hands around her neck, this is what love should be, so strong, so forceful, he could barely breaths!

Yes this hands of his, would be so glad, to squeeze his neck!

 

Suffocation is painless…

Almost erotic, like the most beautiful painting of Ophelia drowning, gently…

As long as you have the right medications!

The pain should be numb!

The slow process of decay had already started long ago!

 

Yes, he would hurt others!

Yes, he would have to pays for this, but what price could be heavier then the one who was inflicted upon him already!

No loves, nobody could be ever able to fills the gaps, or ceils the empty abyss, of his holly holiness…

 

As such, he was coming to face this strange face, this invisible figure

, painted, in so many shapes, so many colors, so many artifacts!

But never the less, the same believe, the same hope, for our sins!

 

 

 

The waiting room was quite empty, he had guessed right.

He will tell his story for the last time, the same old tragic, pathetic story, but this time, no one  would know he was his last words spoken, the river Thames, was only few yards away.

 

The vision as he walk, towards the hospital, was so clear, like a mermaid, strobe inside the water, abruptly stopping, to let her weightless body sink to the bottomless of her despair,the song never had reach any worthy soul!

So does it!

 

He eyes would be wide open, looking up, to the fading light, slowly disappearing….

 

 

He pushes the door, with his brightest smile!

Pick a ticket, and took a seat, for his turn…

Two policemen are waiting, Marlon smile brighten, as he watch them, watching him!

It is true that it was not every days, that one saw such individual, especially on Monday morning!

Looking pretty smart while, walking through the doors of emergency, with the brightest smile of all…

Maybe, they would be the one who will fish him out?

Maybe their limited mind would perceived, the twisted true of such a joke!

 

Whatever!

 

Tom, Jane, Steve….the clock tick, gently, but with a faint murmur…

Enough to remind everyone’s, that time is ephemeral, a drop of water sliding between their fingers!

Soon, but inadvertently, catching up with them! Soon or later.

 

Lucky the man with a face as smile…

Blind leading the blind…

Is this all there is?

Somehow, he felt the urge to run, and as he stood up, the number in his most glorious red flashy color call him.

The nurse looks tired, over weight, unhappy.

She half listen, (so far the plan his perfect) exactly what he had expected!

Another waiting corner, this time, no exit, well, no real obvious exit, he could always pretend to go for a cigarette.

Oh funny, he has been exactly a year, since he last smoke, why?

Vanity surely, was not so strong?

Maybe so!

 

Surprisingly, this time, his turn, came quickly, obviously no nut case in queue!

 

The same little corner, the same color curtains, the same plastic chairs, and the same order.

The doctor, will be with you in a minute…

 

Time pass, minute turn to half an hour.

Marlon hold his breath, to stop laughing at the view of the small man, he certainly look like he need more help then he does…

Like a tape recorder, the young man tells his story, the same one he has spoke for the past 15years…

Oh, as the words drip of his lips, he start recognized the sparkle in the eyes of the psychiatrist.

The slight insolent looks, mixed with arrogance!

 

Finally he got to the end of it, as happy to get there, then probably, the doctor, who patiently wore his immaculate face of orders.

While thinking he had hears it all…

 

“This is what I suggest……”

 

Sadly you are not living in the right area!

And what is the right area?

Marlon dare ask?

The doctor mumbles some words inaudible to the ears, but sharp to the soul!

These same words, he had hears many, oh yes many a time, “I can not help you…”

 

The man stood, the doctor look slightly disconcerted, maybe because he knows…?

Surely not!

Murder in mind…?

The sound of music start to rezone inside his ears, the game has started…

Do you play?

“Thank you for nothing”

“Thank you doctor, you have been a great help…”

I walk like a zombie inside the corridor, of the hospital, looking for the way out, oh, yes; you know what I mean, by the way out!

Everything as been plan headed, Marlon has left a note, and to instruct what of his possession should be shared or given to …

Not that he has much, but precious is more the word…

Everybody knows he had a good eye for precious things like a magpie, ready to grab the sparkle inside the eye of the beautiful objects!

Stealer of the pretty eyes, this was the names they have given him, once upon a time, but this is another story, one which shall not be revealing!

 

 

It would not be long now, before they find his collections!

Laid in perfect orders, from the first victims to the last one, as a matter of fact, not more then the night before, his last goodbye, and what the best ways, but to stole, the windows of his most desire, jewel!

His secret love, this man, he has met week after week, shared is most private thoughts, through lines, thought fantasies, though the true of his feelings…

 

He had not being difficult, he thought as he push the glass doors of the hospital, to reveals the bright midday, sun in his eyes, oh, yes, did I forget to mention, the peculiar grey eye of Marlon, changing to blue, sometimes, but mostly grey at time, reflecting his moods.

A laugh came out of his lips, as he started to remember his battle when still a pupils, at school!

 

“No there were blue!”

“No there were weird grey!”

“no just plain creepy!”

 

Either ways, it did not really matter, they have showed him the true nature of this earth, upon which god, I choose to make him walk, if not for eternity for a while…

 

Somebody push pass, this is London, the city who never stop, somewhere the music still blasting inside the ears of youths!

Right at this minute inside his ears. The souvenir of the night, of the tune of the night before still haunting his own!

 

The house of the parliament stood proud, slightly defiant!

It does….

It won’t be the first one, and not the last….

 

Marlon open his bags, and take the glass jar of his beloved lovers eyes…

Still fresh from the night before, he did not take long, few whispers, along his necks, “I love …..”

Before the end came, the noise of the breaking bones, his dismantled neck, gave ways, and still holding him in his arms, like a the most tender lover embraces, he felt, what he had most desire, for so long, in complete submission, the head slightly tilt in one side, resting on his shoulder.

He calls the crow, his friend, and the bird, in less then minute has ripped apart the eyes of his most precious desire, but what was this desire?

A simple illusion….

Like a thirsty man, in desert, looking for water, and trick by the light….

 

The bird, who had been so well trained, put the orbits inside the open jar, and flew back on top of his cage…

Marlon. Could not say how long he hold him, maybe hours, maybe minutes, but the clock at the split second of the crack, has stop!

 

He walk toward the edge of the Thames, tourists everywhere, what a pain, let walk away…

He found a small entrance to get to the edge of the water, no ones there.

With a simple gulped, he swallows the eyes!

 

And all became so clear!

It was no his misery, but his…

But most disturbing was the true….shinning like a shooting star!

How come he did not see it before!

 

Silver spoon in his mouth, all he had to do, was asking?

But fear of rejection had been too strong, too many times, too many….just too many.

 

One last look through the eyes of his lover, and tears started to flow his face, why?

Why?

 He had been so many years he had not felt the salty taste on his lips!

Like looking through pink glasses, the world suddenly did not seem such a bad place…

 

It would not take long for the police to find out the true, as he started to walk through the water, his reflection bounced back to him, his heart jump, deep in his chest!

Marlon was no more, the face who, was starring at him, was so beautiful, begging to be free….

As he keep walking through the water he knew, half ways his waist, he plans had fails, he turn back, dripping, like a dirty man, he took the reverse of his walk avoiding the hospital, and cross through the train station.

Order a coffee, to feel warm, and went………..

 

The crow was seating in his usual place, as he walk into the flat.

The flicker in his eye, saying it all…

Marlon felt even more like a failure.

 

He slowly opens the bedroom door, and stared at the rigid body, slightly blue, by now, lying peacefully. Watching the ceiling, like stars!

 

Quietly, somehow, not wanting to wake up the dead, he close the door, and went to the kitchen, it did not take long to find it.

Same place for years, never used before.

His hands took hold of the wooden handle, and his eyes for a split second cross the ones of Merlin.

The bird somehow knew what to do, there was no words spoken, he had love and had been waiting for this day!

Marlon open the window, and then the bedroom door, and walk tip- top inside it, like if he was afraid to wake up the dead!

 

His hands stroke the dark, almost black hair of his beloved, lying still.

He murmur some words, and the bird, his companion of so many years, took fly, and ripped the mirrors, the colorful glasses, out of his skull!

While his hands push the blades as deep as he could!

 

 

“I remember, before the night took over, my love rising with the sparkle of his eyes, watching me, and without even questioning, what had happen.

Put a kiss on my forehead, goodbye…..”

 

Love can be damaging!

Love can be destructive,

Love can be selfish,

But at this instant….

So fulfilling,

 

 

                                 COPYRIGHT@H.NAUDET.2010.